When a baby happens, nothing else does. Just getting through the first (all three) trimesters of a pregnancy takes all of you. There is a tiny bit left at the end of the day. Just a sprinkling of attention for your baby, a quick kiss for your hubby, a tiny little burst of energy some days to even cook dinner, followed by a few short hours before you go to bed early. This is sadly just the way life is for a pregnant mom. A life full of sitting on the couch trying not to be sick, trying desperately not to fall asleep while the toddler is awake, trying to find energy to feed your family and yourself, basically just trying and rarely succeeding.
Which begs the question, what happens to all of the things that a mom is supposed to be doing that are not included in this list? Well, my house is a wreck…and I do mean in a biohazardly way. The daily chores that must be done such as dishes are done by my loving, yet tired husband. My son learns how to play with himself or brings games to wherever mommy is plopped. We pay for everyone else to make us food. I am lucky to show up at church or to mutter a quick prayer for mercy and Bible reading becomes a rare luxury.
To some extent, this is just what happens when you’re pregnant. Nothing you can do about it. But there does come a day where you need to stand up and fight for your family regardless of how crappy you feel. I feel like that day came and went a long time ago in my house. My poor family is still struggling along without me and we’re just at week 15!
As my energy starts slowly coming back, I’ve found myself constantly convicted in a new way about disciplines I am lacking. In one short week, I’ve been hit by the following long list:
1. Procrastination. I am the queen of it. This procrastination has digressed into 30 days late on bills and a depression that would rather watch a show than face the overwhelming list of things I’m holding off till later.
2. Motherhood. I’ve found myself spending my days trying to distract from life and demanding that my precious child leave me alone while I indulge. I can’t remember the last time I’ve read him a book. I have some pretty good excuses, but when it comes to your child…no excuse is good enough.
3. Laziness and Whining. These go hand in hand because they both desperately affect my husband. Again, I feel miserable. I have constant reasons to sit in misery and whine about my plot. Does that mean that my husband likes coming home night after night to a cold kitchen, sink full of dishes and a whiny wife? Right
now, my husband is doing his job and mine. That’s ok for a little while in the
crisis of pregnancy, but it’s time I took my job back and started caring for
him instead.
4. Where is God at? Boy have I been hit left and right with spiritual convictions this week! The reason is that my life is full of bad actions, but it’s not really the actions that I need to address. The root of the problem is my heart. There are no godly thoughts in my heart. God seems to be at the bottom of my list these days. How can I fix my life when I’m still a broken mess myself?
5. Worship. I got dragged (kicking and screaming)to an international kid’s choir performance this week. I was put to shame. Here were these kids 5-15 years of age who stood up there and worshiped like I haven’t in years. When was the last time I cared enough to worship God?
6. Music. There are always little indulgences that you have in your life that you swear you’ll give up once you have kids. You know they aren’t good for you and you certainly don’t want your kids exposed to them, but you’ll just indulge in them for now. Except once you have a kid, you realize that they’re too young at first to understand, so you keep it up. The first months turn into the first years and excuses keep coming. For me, this was music. I have a love for the radio. My musical tastes do not include the amateur world of Christian music and I deplore the Christian radio stations. So I listen to the “better” stuff filled with crap on the radio. My son loves it, too! Rap songs, rock songs, anything with a beat. He jams and sings along in the back seat. Seems like such a little thing right? Yet what sort of example am I setting for him? I listened to a dear friend’s teenage daughter this week go on and on about her hero Lady Gaga and other less than classy influences. I saw the way it affected her attitude, made her open to the message they were singing, how it shaped her world view. I might sound like a crazy conservative(goodness, I feel like an old lady conservative right now!), but it all became clear. It hit me the consequences of such a tiny indulgence. Do I really think it appropriate for my young son to grow up hearing about oral sex, drugs, violence, disrespect of woman, casual sex, all of the things that our family stands against? Everything that stands against the family. It’s not appropriate and my dial has sadly stayed on the Christian station ever since. Funny thingis, I’ve actually enjoyed it a lot more than I thought.
Well, that is my long winded confession. Needless to say, it’s been quite a week. The amazing thing about convictions is that they often come with the breath of God giving energy, hope, love, and a small voice that leads from depression over the bad to a remembrance of who you are in Him. In other words, I feel liberated from my depression over my failures; my extreme tiredness; my loveless heart; my lazy mind; my wicked soul; and instead feel ready to start conquering this list. Is life all better now? Ha. Still feeling ick; have a little more energy, but still tire easily; still give in to the tv or radio every now and then; still struggling. But this time I know what I’m fighting and I know that I can win. All I can say is a deep heartfelt “Thank you God!” I certainly couldn’t have gotten up off my butt on my own.
July…come quickly please!
Wednesday, February 1, 2012
Monday, January 23, 2012
13 Weeks Update
Well, my diet plan is a complete success! I'm eating healthier than I ever have. Tons of veggies and fruits. I'm walking at least once a day and riding our new exercise bike like a fiend!
Ha. That's just a "little" untrue. How do you keep up a diet/exercise plan during pregnancy? Well, you don't. The good news? My morning sickness is calming down and I'm finding it gets worse the junkier food that I eat, thereby forcing me to eat healthier. As in no pizza or mac and cheese, but McDonald's burgers are still my favorite. I am oddly craving salads which would be nice if I liked salads from home or if my hubby approved of any joint with good salads. I also lost a pound and have found I have to keep my meals moderate to small or baby spits them back up.
What I can't do:
- Exercise
- Walking
- Getting up off the couch
- Cleaning
- Some days, playing with or feeding my son
You get the idea.
I thought by the second trimester I'd be past the pregnancy zombie mode, but it's still going strong. Our whole house finds this frustrating. I hate watching my house gain dirt before my eyes and being unable to form any plan of attack. My husband tires of doing the majority of chores, fetching things for me, and listening to me whine about my inability to do anything. My son misses having mommy play with him and doesn't understand why mommy can't just roughhouse and swing him all 24 pounds of him around all day. The cat gets really annoyed to find me asleep and his bowl empty yet again.
Once again, pregnancy is about survival. What do you do when you do what you can, but you can't really do anything? My one comfort is that this doesn't last forever. In fact, in a few months I'll become a nesting monster who can't stop cleaning and has to be told to sit down. For now, I'll just yearn for those days and enjoy my close relationship with my couch.
Ha. That's just a "little" untrue. How do you keep up a diet/exercise plan during pregnancy? Well, you don't. The good news? My morning sickness is calming down and I'm finding it gets worse the junkier food that I eat, thereby forcing me to eat healthier. As in no pizza or mac and cheese, but McDonald's burgers are still my favorite. I am oddly craving salads which would be nice if I liked salads from home or if my hubby approved of any joint with good salads. I also lost a pound and have found I have to keep my meals moderate to small or baby spits them back up.
What I can't do:
- Exercise
- Walking
- Getting up off the couch
- Cleaning
- Some days, playing with or feeding my son
You get the idea.
I thought by the second trimester I'd be past the pregnancy zombie mode, but it's still going strong. Our whole house finds this frustrating. I hate watching my house gain dirt before my eyes and being unable to form any plan of attack. My husband tires of doing the majority of chores, fetching things for me, and listening to me whine about my inability to do anything. My son misses having mommy play with him and doesn't understand why mommy can't just roughhouse and swing him all 24 pounds of him around all day. The cat gets really annoyed to find me asleep and his bowl empty yet again.
Once again, pregnancy is about survival. What do you do when you do what you can, but you can't really do anything? My one comfort is that this doesn't last forever. In fact, in a few months I'll become a nesting monster who can't stop cleaning and has to be told to sit down. For now, I'll just yearn for those days and enjoy my close relationship with my couch.
Tuesday, December 13, 2011
Pregnancy and Dieting Do Not Mix!
I hate to make this blog about diet and exercise become a blog about pregnancy woes, but the truth is we moms are gonna get pregnant and it's really hard to stay healthy while pregnant. Just like baby #1, this baby is making momma pretty darn sick. My caloric intake is through the roof eating between 4-5 meals a day. I'm stuck eating whatever limited menu my belly will accept that day/moment/second. If my belly only wants an Arby's roast beef sandwich with a side of loaded Wendy's baked potato then anything else will just be thrown up. It's a matter of survival these days.
Exercise? Ha! Getting out of bed is my exercise right now. I must take one nap a day to survive which means I get behind on chores which snowballs into no exercising. In the evenings when we used to work out in front of the TV, I am honestly too tired to participate.
So how is it possible to keep healthy during pregnancy? Be realistic. The good news is that my body at least for now is balancing it all out. I'm starting to show, but I haven't gained any weight despite my crazed appetite and disgusting selections. In fact, during my last pregnancy I never gained any weight while I had morning sickness. Around 21 weeks the morning sickness went away and then I started gaining. So I suppose it's those times where you can control your diet that count. Once again, it's what you can do. Walking a few more parking spaces, napping so you'll be ready for more later, trying to shove the veggies down...it's the little things that matter. They add up.
In the end, yes it is all about the baby and a healthy delivery. However, anything you can do to help your health directly affects your baby positively. So do what you can! And when you can't...it's ok. You're baby won't die from a steady diet of McDonalds, Wendys, and Arby's in the beginning. Trust me, I've already delivered one extremely healthy little boy who I'm guilty to say had plenty of that in utero. Do what you need to survive, but when you can choose to do more, DO IT!
Exercise? Ha! Getting out of bed is my exercise right now. I must take one nap a day to survive which means I get behind on chores which snowballs into no exercising. In the evenings when we used to work out in front of the TV, I am honestly too tired to participate.
So how is it possible to keep healthy during pregnancy? Be realistic. The good news is that my body at least for now is balancing it all out. I'm starting to show, but I haven't gained any weight despite my crazed appetite and disgusting selections. In fact, during my last pregnancy I never gained any weight while I had morning sickness. Around 21 weeks the morning sickness went away and then I started gaining. So I suppose it's those times where you can control your diet that count. Once again, it's what you can do. Walking a few more parking spaces, napping so you'll be ready for more later, trying to shove the veggies down...it's the little things that matter. They add up.
In the end, yes it is all about the baby and a healthy delivery. However, anything you can do to help your health directly affects your baby positively. So do what you can! And when you can't...it's ok. You're baby won't die from a steady diet of McDonalds, Wendys, and Arby's in the beginning. Trust me, I've already delivered one extremely healthy little boy who I'm guilty to say had plenty of that in utero. Do what you need to survive, but when you can choose to do more, DO IT!
Monday, November 28, 2011
15 Pounds!!!! And More BIG Changes...
That's right everyone! I hit 15 pounds!!!
Yet that isn't the only big thing that's changing around here. We have a problem...
I'M PREGNANT!
Oops. No, this was planned (sort of), but does put a bit of a damper on things. After all, you're really not supposed to starve yourself or run 3 miles during pregnancy.
So instead, I'm going to switch things up a little. Obviously, once this baby is out I'm going to be back to the grindstone. For my second pregnancy, I'd like to do things very differently. I would like to continue my healthy eating and exercise throughout the pregnancy. So why not write about it? After all, we moms are going to have pregnancies happen and we can't afford to keep gaining from one to the next.
I'd also like to keep writing about our journey towards becoming personal trainers and helping others with their weight loss struggle. See previous post for our crazy new dreams.
So tune in! I may be pregnant but we are still going to keep things realistic, healthy, and strong around here. Here's to a nine month bunny trail!
Yet that isn't the only big thing that's changing around here. We have a problem...
I'M PREGNANT!
Oops. No, this was planned (sort of), but does put a bit of a damper on things. After all, you're really not supposed to starve yourself or run 3 miles during pregnancy.
So instead, I'm going to switch things up a little. Obviously, once this baby is out I'm going to be back to the grindstone. For my second pregnancy, I'd like to do things very differently. I would like to continue my healthy eating and exercise throughout the pregnancy. So why not write about it? After all, we moms are going to have pregnancies happen and we can't afford to keep gaining from one to the next.
I'd also like to keep writing about our journey towards becoming personal trainers and helping others with their weight loss struggle. See previous post for our crazy new dreams.
So tune in! I may be pregnant but we are still going to keep things realistic, healthy, and strong around here. Here's to a nine month bunny trail!
Is the Biggest Loser Just a Stupid Reality Show?
I really despise reality shows. I think that's why it's taken me 12 seasons to pick up the Biggest Loser. I watched it one night on a whim and was hooked! As much as I hate to say it, the Biggest Loser changed our lives (with a "little" help from God, of course).
At first, the changes were small. We all of a sudden become interested in exercise. We found new and interesting ways to do it. We started trying to lose weight. We started making a lifestyle out of losing weight. We actually starting LOSING weight!
Then the big change. A few weeks ago it hit me that my husband would make a fantastic personal trainer. My dear husband has been floundering for a while. He knows that he wants to do some sort of ministry, preferably a para-church organization or church planting. Yet, we couldn't think of one particular place to start. He knew he enjoyed marketing, so he's been working towards his degree in marketing and accounting to hopefully help us create our organization someday. Yet, being poor+having a baby+being married+working 47 hours per week=very slow progress. It's at the point where we feel like we're never going to be able to finish this degree that he's not even sure he wants.
And then we started watching the Biggest Loser. It's kind of like God got a hold of each of us on so many levels, including this personal training idea. I carefully broached the idea with my hubby only to hear him say he was considering it already.
So we looked up the information. We could have his business up and running in less than 6 months and he would receive a generous pay increase with very little investment up front. Hmm... How can you say no to that? Honestly, we were already pretty decided before we learned those charming facts.
So this spring we hope to get my husband certified to be a personal trainer. I mean, what is there to lose? One class worth of time and money with rewards now? Training that will help him in his personal goals? Having to stay fit? Having to keep learning how to stay fit? I'm not seeing any negatives here.
I know it won't be all rainbows and cotton candy, but this answers so many of our prayers. For the first time, my husband has a career in mind that completely fits him!
So where do we hope this leads? Right now, just income. Eventually we'd both like to create a ministry within the church to help each other with weight loss.
Here's the craziest thing of all! I'm seriously considering getting my certification as well. Yikes! That's right, the girl that is super geeky, non-athletic, hates running, lazy, last to be picked on the playground, terrible at any and all sports is seriously considering becoming a professional athlete. Here's the thing...I CAN DO IT! I know I can. AND I WANT TO! Thank you Biggest Loser for giving me to confidence!
We'll see where this goes, but for now I think it's pretty darn exciting.
Did I ever consider this happening? Not in a million years!
At first, the changes were small. We all of a sudden become interested in exercise. We found new and interesting ways to do it. We started trying to lose weight. We started making a lifestyle out of losing weight. We actually starting LOSING weight!
Then the big change. A few weeks ago it hit me that my husband would make a fantastic personal trainer. My dear husband has been floundering for a while. He knows that he wants to do some sort of ministry, preferably a para-church organization or church planting. Yet, we couldn't think of one particular place to start. He knew he enjoyed marketing, so he's been working towards his degree in marketing and accounting to hopefully help us create our organization someday. Yet, being poor+having a baby+being married+working 47 hours per week=very slow progress. It's at the point where we feel like we're never going to be able to finish this degree that he's not even sure he wants.
And then we started watching the Biggest Loser. It's kind of like God got a hold of each of us on so many levels, including this personal training idea. I carefully broached the idea with my hubby only to hear him say he was considering it already.
So we looked up the information. We could have his business up and running in less than 6 months and he would receive a generous pay increase with very little investment up front. Hmm... How can you say no to that? Honestly, we were already pretty decided before we learned those charming facts.
So this spring we hope to get my husband certified to be a personal trainer. I mean, what is there to lose? One class worth of time and money with rewards now? Training that will help him in his personal goals? Having to stay fit? Having to keep learning how to stay fit? I'm not seeing any negatives here.
I know it won't be all rainbows and cotton candy, but this answers so many of our prayers. For the first time, my husband has a career in mind that completely fits him!
So where do we hope this leads? Right now, just income. Eventually we'd both like to create a ministry within the church to help each other with weight loss.
Here's the craziest thing of all! I'm seriously considering getting my certification as well. Yikes! That's right, the girl that is super geeky, non-athletic, hates running, lazy, last to be picked on the playground, terrible at any and all sports is seriously considering becoming a professional athlete. Here's the thing...I CAN DO IT! I know I can. AND I WANT TO! Thank you Biggest Loser for giving me to confidence!
We'll see where this goes, but for now I think it's pretty darn exciting.
Did I ever consider this happening? Not in a million years!
Monday, November 14, 2011
Boys Suck...
Grumpy today. I have stopped losing. I'm stuck at 13 pounds. Can't seem to get any lower. I was losing so fast and now I'm stuck! And guess what? My hubby lost 2 pounds today. 2...stinking...pounds... He's at 18 and definitely still counting. Grr... Men have all the luck...
Tuesday, November 8, 2011
Success is Sweet! And motivating...
Still losing! 13 pounds and counting! For several weeks now, I have been averaging a 1-2 pound weight loss per week! Pretty amazing I think! I've decided there are several things that are definitely making me successful.
1. Success! Nothing like success to motivate further work.
2. Working out in front of the TV at night is really working for us. Through Pilates, my legs are slimming down and for the first time in my life I'm flexible! I feel like crunches and situps are the biggest thing helping me to lose the weight. Maybe because most of my weight is in my tummy? The only bad thing about this is we are having to get creative to come up with new exercises to keep us challenged and to keep the weight coming.
3. Watching calories is key. We're not being perfect, but we are looking at everything we eat. I am trying to keep my caloric intake to 1200-1500 a day. Somedays it is more and those are the days we try to work out extra hard.
4. Watching The Biggest Loser is helping keep us motivated and giving us ideas for new ways to push ourselves.
5. Weighing every morning and night. It helps keep me focused, accountable and prepared to do what I need that day to keep working towards my goals. For instance, if my weight loss seems low or adds back up one morning, I know I need to try a little harder that day to keep my trend going.
6. THE BIGGEST THING OF ALL IS... Have you noticed that I keep saying "we"? That's right, my husband. I honestly could not be a success without him. He has been my best coach and motivator. He works so hard and gently pulls me along with him. He gives me compliments and constantly encourages me. Somehow he encourages or challenges me without being cruel or making me feel fat. I don't know how he does it, but I want to be just like him! He is very obsessed and excited with being healthy lately and it's hard not to get on the bandwagon. I think he would make an amazing trainer someday. Hmm....
I am still not perfect, but I am trying. I am still not skinny, but I am losing and toning. I still eat what I need to or want, but with moderation. I still am not very self-motivated or confident, but it is growing and in the meantime I have a husband who is helping me. I still forget to be reading the Bible, but I actually want to now and have a plan. I am still failing, but I am now succeeding more than I fail! So there you go. Success! Now just praying it keeps going...
1. Success! Nothing like success to motivate further work.
2. Working out in front of the TV at night is really working for us. Through Pilates, my legs are slimming down and for the first time in my life I'm flexible! I feel like crunches and situps are the biggest thing helping me to lose the weight. Maybe because most of my weight is in my tummy? The only bad thing about this is we are having to get creative to come up with new exercises to keep us challenged and to keep the weight coming.
3. Watching calories is key. We're not being perfect, but we are looking at everything we eat. I am trying to keep my caloric intake to 1200-1500 a day. Somedays it is more and those are the days we try to work out extra hard.
4. Watching The Biggest Loser is helping keep us motivated and giving us ideas for new ways to push ourselves.
5. Weighing every morning and night. It helps keep me focused, accountable and prepared to do what I need that day to keep working towards my goals. For instance, if my weight loss seems low or adds back up one morning, I know I need to try a little harder that day to keep my trend going.
6. THE BIGGEST THING OF ALL IS... Have you noticed that I keep saying "we"? That's right, my husband. I honestly could not be a success without him. He has been my best coach and motivator. He works so hard and gently pulls me along with him. He gives me compliments and constantly encourages me. Somehow he encourages or challenges me without being cruel or making me feel fat. I don't know how he does it, but I want to be just like him! He is very obsessed and excited with being healthy lately and it's hard not to get on the bandwagon. I think he would make an amazing trainer someday. Hmm....
I am still not perfect, but I am trying. I am still not skinny, but I am losing and toning. I still eat what I need to or want, but with moderation. I still am not very self-motivated or confident, but it is growing and in the meantime I have a husband who is helping me. I still forget to be reading the Bible, but I actually want to now and have a plan. I am still failing, but I am now succeeding more than I fail! So there you go. Success! Now just praying it keeps going...
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