Back to the Beginning of the Diet Cycle

Things are looking up since my last post. My life has not got any less busy. For instance, I have dishes and old food sitting in my kitchen that have been there for three days. Not sure when I'll actually get to them. That's what happens when you pick up extra shifts and work 14 hour days. Oh well, that's life and my reality.

However, things are still looking up. I have hopes for a better, more balanced future. Some changes are already in the works to the amount of hours I work. A little scary as it will mean a drop in income, but I know that we will be taken care of. God is the one causing the changes, not me, which helps my nerves. My husband is also stepping it way up and helping take some of my load.

I am still struggling though. My crazy life and being sick for three weeks straight now is not making dieting easy. Yet, I'm feeling more motivated than I have in a long time. There are a couple of things that are really helping:

• We got a new exercise program on our Xbox Kinect! It gives us a great way to have many different styles of workouts in our own living room. The bad news is that just the set up fitness test kicked my butt. I'm still hobbling around 3 days later. :)
• My body is shouting for good food! It's to the point where junk food is making me sick. There really is not a greater motivator for me than having a sick stomach.
• Watching a close friend slim down with her new exercise routine.
• Conversely, getting family pictures and seeing just how big I am in the camera's eyes. Yikes!
• I've had several situations around me lately of parents leaving their children early due to bad health. My bad eating and lack of exercise will lead to cancer, heart disease, obesity, diabetes, autoimmune diseases, and who knows what else that is not within my family. It breaks my heart to think of me putting my family in that situation, me leaving my son without a mommy. Talk about motivating...

So, now that my legs have mostly healed from that wretched workout and I'm heading towards my less busy part of the week, it's time to get crackin'! Xbox Kinect, you have my permission to kick my butt. Fatty, sugary, junky food...I'm sorry, I'll miss you. Hello vegetables! Not sure where I'll get the time for all of this, but I suppose I'll just leave that up to God and do my best.

A song that hit me today, especially the tragedies of losing parents this week.

It Hit the Fan

All hell has broken loose at my house. I think it would be easier for me to say what I'm not doing these days. Oh wait, that would be eating healthy, reading Scripture, stopping when I'm full, and losing weight.

Most people would call this a fall off the wagon, but I refuse to think in those terms. You know what people do after they fall off the wagon? Give up and die. I just can't do that.

Does that mean that tomorrow I'm going to get back on my diet? Hee hee, that's funny. Probably not the next day either. But I'm holding out that maybe the next day things will be different.

And besides, being that this is a realistic and forever diet, I never actually went off of it. Just haven't had a successful diet experience these last couple of weeks. My diet is not dependent on my success, only my weight loss is.

So the big question is, how to get started. I have just a few obstacles to hurdle first. Namely the millions of things I do and problems in my life right now.

I'm a wife, mommy, admin assistant, nanny, voice teacher to 6 people, mommy, director of a 60+ children's choir, librarian, mommy, household accountant, household chef, mommy and oh yes household maid. I recently charted out my week and not counting mommying or family time, I work 53 hours a week bare minimum. Yikes!

Those are just the things I do. Obstacles? Well, we are dirt poor at the moment so I don't have the money to eat healthy food (still living off mac and cheese); due to crappy food, busy schedule and crazy hormones I am nothing short of bone tired all of the time; I don't have family here supporting me nor time with friends to gain that support.

Wah wah wah. There's my pity party for the week.

You know what all of these things are? Excuses. Oh yes, they are slightly legitimate and do have an effect on my diet, but the bottom line is I (me, myself, and I) am still failing.

As I have been failing in finding time to prep for this season's kid's choir which starts Sunday, (failure is a common theme lately) I have instead been grabbing onto some fantastic advice my mentor and worship director gave me. Just let go and let God. Overly used and sappy, I know. Yet, so very true! Especially in the ministry!

I think that's where I am right now. I just have too much on my plate and I'm failing at everything. I can't do it. I just can't do it!

Maybe my situation is a purposeful celestial reminder to me. Who knows. But I really am at a place right now where I cannot possibly get back on that wagon (so to speak).

So I'm letting God pry off my fingers... I'm letting Him help figure this all out... I'm surviving on the hope that He does...and SOON!