When a baby happens, nothing else does. Just getting through the first (all three) trimesters of a pregnancy takes all of you. There is a tiny bit left at the end of the day. Just a sprinkling of attention for your baby, a quick kiss for your hubby, a tiny little burst of energy some days to even cook dinner, followed by a few short hours before you go to bed early. This is sadly just the way life is for a pregnant mom. A life full of sitting on the couch trying not to be sick, trying desperately not to fall asleep while the toddler is awake, trying to find energy to feed your family and yourself, basically just trying and rarely succeeding.
Which begs the question, what happens to all of the things that a mom is supposed to be doing that are not included in this list? Well, my house is a wreck…and I do mean in a biohazardly way. The daily chores that must be done such as dishes are done by my loving, yet tired husband. My son learns how to play with himself or brings games to wherever mommy is plopped. We pay for everyone else to make us food. I am lucky to show up at church or to mutter a quick prayer for mercy and Bible reading becomes a rare luxury.
To some extent, this is just what happens when you’re pregnant. Nothing you can do about it. But there does come a day where you need to stand up and fight for your family regardless of how crappy you feel. I feel like that day came and went a long time ago in my house. My poor family is still struggling along without me and we’re just at week 15!
As my energy starts slowly coming back, I’ve found myself constantly convicted in a new way about disciplines I am lacking. In one short week, I’ve been hit by the following long list:
1. Procrastination. I am the queen of it. This procrastination has digressed into 30 days late on bills and a depression that would rather watch a show than face the overwhelming list of things I’m holding off till later.
2. Motherhood. I’ve found myself spending my days trying to distract from life and demanding that my precious child leave me alone while I indulge. I can’t remember the last time I’ve read him a book. I have some pretty good excuses, but when it comes to your child…no excuse is good enough.
3. Laziness and Whining. These go hand in hand because they both desperately affect my husband. Again, I feel miserable. I have constant reasons to sit in misery and whine about my plot. Does that mean that my husband likes coming home night after night to a cold kitchen, sink full of dishes and a whiny wife? Right
now, my husband is doing his job and mine. That’s ok for a little while in the
crisis of pregnancy, but it’s time I took my job back and started caring for
him instead.
4. Where is God at? Boy have I been hit left and right with spiritual convictions this week! The reason is that my life is full of bad actions, but it’s not really the actions that I need to address. The root of the problem is my heart. There are no godly thoughts in my heart. God seems to be at the bottom of my list these days. How can I fix my life when I’m still a broken mess myself?
5. Worship. I got dragged (kicking and screaming)to an international kid’s choir performance this week. I was put to shame. Here were these kids 5-15 years of age who stood up there and worshiped like I haven’t in years. When was the last time I cared enough to worship God?
6. Music. There are always little indulgences that you have in your life that you swear you’ll give up once you have kids. You know they aren’t good for you and you certainly don’t want your kids exposed to them, but you’ll just indulge in them for now. Except once you have a kid, you realize that they’re too young at first to understand, so you keep it up. The first months turn into the first years and excuses keep coming. For me, this was music. I have a love for the radio. My musical tastes do not include the amateur world of Christian music and I deplore the Christian radio stations. So I listen to the “better” stuff filled with crap on the radio. My son loves it, too! Rap songs, rock songs, anything with a beat. He jams and sings along in the back seat. Seems like such a little thing right? Yet what sort of example am I setting for him? I listened to a dear friend’s teenage daughter this week go on and on about her hero Lady Gaga and other less than classy influences. I saw the way it affected her attitude, made her open to the message they were singing, how it shaped her world view. I might sound like a crazy conservative(goodness, I feel like an old lady conservative right now!), but it all became clear. It hit me the consequences of such a tiny indulgence. Do I really think it appropriate for my young son to grow up hearing about oral sex, drugs, violence, disrespect of woman, casual sex, all of the things that our family stands against? Everything that stands against the family. It’s not appropriate and my dial has sadly stayed on the Christian station ever since. Funny thingis, I’ve actually enjoyed it a lot more than I thought.
Well, that is my long winded confession. Needless to say, it’s been quite a week. The amazing thing about convictions is that they often come with the breath of God giving energy, hope, love, and a small voice that leads from depression over the bad to a remembrance of who you are in Him. In other words, I feel liberated from my depression over my failures; my extreme tiredness; my loveless heart; my lazy mind; my wicked soul; and instead feel ready to start conquering this list. Is life all better now? Ha. Still feeling ick; have a little more energy, but still tire easily; still give in to the tv or radio every now and then; still struggling. But this time I know what I’m fighting and I know that I can win. All I can say is a deep heartfelt “Thank you God!” I certainly couldn’t have gotten up off my butt on my own.
July…come quickly please!
Wednesday, February 1, 2012
Monday, January 23, 2012
13 Weeks Update
Well, my diet plan is a complete success! I'm eating healthier than I ever have. Tons of veggies and fruits. I'm walking at least once a day and riding our new exercise bike like a fiend!
Ha. That's just a "little" untrue. How do you keep up a diet/exercise plan during pregnancy? Well, you don't. The good news? My morning sickness is calming down and I'm finding it gets worse the junkier food that I eat, thereby forcing me to eat healthier. As in no pizza or mac and cheese, but McDonald's burgers are still my favorite. I am oddly craving salads which would be nice if I liked salads from home or if my hubby approved of any joint with good salads. I also lost a pound and have found I have to keep my meals moderate to small or baby spits them back up.
What I can't do:
- Exercise
- Walking
- Getting up off the couch
- Cleaning
- Some days, playing with or feeding my son
You get the idea.
I thought by the second trimester I'd be past the pregnancy zombie mode, but it's still going strong. Our whole house finds this frustrating. I hate watching my house gain dirt before my eyes and being unable to form any plan of attack. My husband tires of doing the majority of chores, fetching things for me, and listening to me whine about my inability to do anything. My son misses having mommy play with him and doesn't understand why mommy can't just roughhouse and swing him all 24 pounds of him around all day. The cat gets really annoyed to find me asleep and his bowl empty yet again.
Once again, pregnancy is about survival. What do you do when you do what you can, but you can't really do anything? My one comfort is that this doesn't last forever. In fact, in a few months I'll become a nesting monster who can't stop cleaning and has to be told to sit down. For now, I'll just yearn for those days and enjoy my close relationship with my couch.
Ha. That's just a "little" untrue. How do you keep up a diet/exercise plan during pregnancy? Well, you don't. The good news? My morning sickness is calming down and I'm finding it gets worse the junkier food that I eat, thereby forcing me to eat healthier. As in no pizza or mac and cheese, but McDonald's burgers are still my favorite. I am oddly craving salads which would be nice if I liked salads from home or if my hubby approved of any joint with good salads. I also lost a pound and have found I have to keep my meals moderate to small or baby spits them back up.
What I can't do:
- Exercise
- Walking
- Getting up off the couch
- Cleaning
- Some days, playing with or feeding my son
You get the idea.
I thought by the second trimester I'd be past the pregnancy zombie mode, but it's still going strong. Our whole house finds this frustrating. I hate watching my house gain dirt before my eyes and being unable to form any plan of attack. My husband tires of doing the majority of chores, fetching things for me, and listening to me whine about my inability to do anything. My son misses having mommy play with him and doesn't understand why mommy can't just roughhouse and swing him all 24 pounds of him around all day. The cat gets really annoyed to find me asleep and his bowl empty yet again.
Once again, pregnancy is about survival. What do you do when you do what you can, but you can't really do anything? My one comfort is that this doesn't last forever. In fact, in a few months I'll become a nesting monster who can't stop cleaning and has to be told to sit down. For now, I'll just yearn for those days and enjoy my close relationship with my couch.
Tuesday, December 13, 2011
Pregnancy and Dieting Do Not Mix!
I hate to make this blog about diet and exercise become a blog about pregnancy woes, but the truth is we moms are gonna get pregnant and it's really hard to stay healthy while pregnant. Just like baby #1, this baby is making momma pretty darn sick. My caloric intake is through the roof eating between 4-5 meals a day. I'm stuck eating whatever limited menu my belly will accept that day/moment/second. If my belly only wants an Arby's roast beef sandwich with a side of loaded Wendy's baked potato then anything else will just be thrown up. It's a matter of survival these days.
Exercise? Ha! Getting out of bed is my exercise right now. I must take one nap a day to survive which means I get behind on chores which snowballs into no exercising. In the evenings when we used to work out in front of the TV, I am honestly too tired to participate.
So how is it possible to keep healthy during pregnancy? Be realistic. The good news is that my body at least for now is balancing it all out. I'm starting to show, but I haven't gained any weight despite my crazed appetite and disgusting selections. In fact, during my last pregnancy I never gained any weight while I had morning sickness. Around 21 weeks the morning sickness went away and then I started gaining. So I suppose it's those times where you can control your diet that count. Once again, it's what you can do. Walking a few more parking spaces, napping so you'll be ready for more later, trying to shove the veggies down...it's the little things that matter. They add up.
In the end, yes it is all about the baby and a healthy delivery. However, anything you can do to help your health directly affects your baby positively. So do what you can! And when you can't...it's ok. You're baby won't die from a steady diet of McDonalds, Wendys, and Arby's in the beginning. Trust me, I've already delivered one extremely healthy little boy who I'm guilty to say had plenty of that in utero. Do what you need to survive, but when you can choose to do more, DO IT!
Exercise? Ha! Getting out of bed is my exercise right now. I must take one nap a day to survive which means I get behind on chores which snowballs into no exercising. In the evenings when we used to work out in front of the TV, I am honestly too tired to participate.
So how is it possible to keep healthy during pregnancy? Be realistic. The good news is that my body at least for now is balancing it all out. I'm starting to show, but I haven't gained any weight despite my crazed appetite and disgusting selections. In fact, during my last pregnancy I never gained any weight while I had morning sickness. Around 21 weeks the morning sickness went away and then I started gaining. So I suppose it's those times where you can control your diet that count. Once again, it's what you can do. Walking a few more parking spaces, napping so you'll be ready for more later, trying to shove the veggies down...it's the little things that matter. They add up.
In the end, yes it is all about the baby and a healthy delivery. However, anything you can do to help your health directly affects your baby positively. So do what you can! And when you can't...it's ok. You're baby won't die from a steady diet of McDonalds, Wendys, and Arby's in the beginning. Trust me, I've already delivered one extremely healthy little boy who I'm guilty to say had plenty of that in utero. Do what you need to survive, but when you can choose to do more, DO IT!
Monday, November 28, 2011
15 Pounds!!!! And More BIG Changes...
That's right everyone! I hit 15 pounds!!!
Yet that isn't the only big thing that's changing around here. We have a problem...
I'M PREGNANT!
Oops. No, this was planned (sort of), but does put a bit of a damper on things. After all, you're really not supposed to starve yourself or run 3 miles during pregnancy.
So instead, I'm going to switch things up a little. Obviously, once this baby is out I'm going to be back to the grindstone. For my second pregnancy, I'd like to do things very differently. I would like to continue my healthy eating and exercise throughout the pregnancy. So why not write about it? After all, we moms are going to have pregnancies happen and we can't afford to keep gaining from one to the next.
I'd also like to keep writing about our journey towards becoming personal trainers and helping others with their weight loss struggle. See previous post for our crazy new dreams.
So tune in! I may be pregnant but we are still going to keep things realistic, healthy, and strong around here. Here's to a nine month bunny trail!
Yet that isn't the only big thing that's changing around here. We have a problem...
I'M PREGNANT!
Oops. No, this was planned (sort of), but does put a bit of a damper on things. After all, you're really not supposed to starve yourself or run 3 miles during pregnancy.
So instead, I'm going to switch things up a little. Obviously, once this baby is out I'm going to be back to the grindstone. For my second pregnancy, I'd like to do things very differently. I would like to continue my healthy eating and exercise throughout the pregnancy. So why not write about it? After all, we moms are going to have pregnancies happen and we can't afford to keep gaining from one to the next.
I'd also like to keep writing about our journey towards becoming personal trainers and helping others with their weight loss struggle. See previous post for our crazy new dreams.
So tune in! I may be pregnant but we are still going to keep things realistic, healthy, and strong around here. Here's to a nine month bunny trail!
Is the Biggest Loser Just a Stupid Reality Show?
I really despise reality shows. I think that's why it's taken me 12 seasons to pick up the Biggest Loser. I watched it one night on a whim and was hooked! As much as I hate to say it, the Biggest Loser changed our lives (with a "little" help from God, of course).
At first, the changes were small. We all of a sudden become interested in exercise. We found new and interesting ways to do it. We started trying to lose weight. We started making a lifestyle out of losing weight. We actually starting LOSING weight!
Then the big change. A few weeks ago it hit me that my husband would make a fantastic personal trainer. My dear husband has been floundering for a while. He knows that he wants to do some sort of ministry, preferably a para-church organization or church planting. Yet, we couldn't think of one particular place to start. He knew he enjoyed marketing, so he's been working towards his degree in marketing and accounting to hopefully help us create our organization someday. Yet, being poor+having a baby+being married+working 47 hours per week=very slow progress. It's at the point where we feel like we're never going to be able to finish this degree that he's not even sure he wants.
And then we started watching the Biggest Loser. It's kind of like God got a hold of each of us on so many levels, including this personal training idea. I carefully broached the idea with my hubby only to hear him say he was considering it already.
So we looked up the information. We could have his business up and running in less than 6 months and he would receive a generous pay increase with very little investment up front. Hmm... How can you say no to that? Honestly, we were already pretty decided before we learned those charming facts.
So this spring we hope to get my husband certified to be a personal trainer. I mean, what is there to lose? One class worth of time and money with rewards now? Training that will help him in his personal goals? Having to stay fit? Having to keep learning how to stay fit? I'm not seeing any negatives here.
I know it won't be all rainbows and cotton candy, but this answers so many of our prayers. For the first time, my husband has a career in mind that completely fits him!
So where do we hope this leads? Right now, just income. Eventually we'd both like to create a ministry within the church to help each other with weight loss.
Here's the craziest thing of all! I'm seriously considering getting my certification as well. Yikes! That's right, the girl that is super geeky, non-athletic, hates running, lazy, last to be picked on the playground, terrible at any and all sports is seriously considering becoming a professional athlete. Here's the thing...I CAN DO IT! I know I can. AND I WANT TO! Thank you Biggest Loser for giving me to confidence!
We'll see where this goes, but for now I think it's pretty darn exciting.
Did I ever consider this happening? Not in a million years!
At first, the changes were small. We all of a sudden become interested in exercise. We found new and interesting ways to do it. We started trying to lose weight. We started making a lifestyle out of losing weight. We actually starting LOSING weight!
Then the big change. A few weeks ago it hit me that my husband would make a fantastic personal trainer. My dear husband has been floundering for a while. He knows that he wants to do some sort of ministry, preferably a para-church organization or church planting. Yet, we couldn't think of one particular place to start. He knew he enjoyed marketing, so he's been working towards his degree in marketing and accounting to hopefully help us create our organization someday. Yet, being poor+having a baby+being married+working 47 hours per week=very slow progress. It's at the point where we feel like we're never going to be able to finish this degree that he's not even sure he wants.
And then we started watching the Biggest Loser. It's kind of like God got a hold of each of us on so many levels, including this personal training idea. I carefully broached the idea with my hubby only to hear him say he was considering it already.
So we looked up the information. We could have his business up and running in less than 6 months and he would receive a generous pay increase with very little investment up front. Hmm... How can you say no to that? Honestly, we were already pretty decided before we learned those charming facts.
So this spring we hope to get my husband certified to be a personal trainer. I mean, what is there to lose? One class worth of time and money with rewards now? Training that will help him in his personal goals? Having to stay fit? Having to keep learning how to stay fit? I'm not seeing any negatives here.
I know it won't be all rainbows and cotton candy, but this answers so many of our prayers. For the first time, my husband has a career in mind that completely fits him!
So where do we hope this leads? Right now, just income. Eventually we'd both like to create a ministry within the church to help each other with weight loss.
Here's the craziest thing of all! I'm seriously considering getting my certification as well. Yikes! That's right, the girl that is super geeky, non-athletic, hates running, lazy, last to be picked on the playground, terrible at any and all sports is seriously considering becoming a professional athlete. Here's the thing...I CAN DO IT! I know I can. AND I WANT TO! Thank you Biggest Loser for giving me to confidence!
We'll see where this goes, but for now I think it's pretty darn exciting.
Did I ever consider this happening? Not in a million years!
Monday, November 14, 2011
Boys Suck...
Grumpy today. I have stopped losing. I'm stuck at 13 pounds. Can't seem to get any lower. I was losing so fast and now I'm stuck! And guess what? My hubby lost 2 pounds today. 2...stinking...pounds... He's at 18 and definitely still counting. Grr... Men have all the luck...
Tuesday, November 8, 2011
Success is Sweet! And motivating...
Still losing! 13 pounds and counting! For several weeks now, I have been averaging a 1-2 pound weight loss per week! Pretty amazing I think! I've decided there are several things that are definitely making me successful.
1. Success! Nothing like success to motivate further work.
2. Working out in front of the TV at night is really working for us. Through Pilates, my legs are slimming down and for the first time in my life I'm flexible! I feel like crunches and situps are the biggest thing helping me to lose the weight. Maybe because most of my weight is in my tummy? The only bad thing about this is we are having to get creative to come up with new exercises to keep us challenged and to keep the weight coming.
3. Watching calories is key. We're not being perfect, but we are looking at everything we eat. I am trying to keep my caloric intake to 1200-1500 a day. Somedays it is more and those are the days we try to work out extra hard.
4. Watching The Biggest Loser is helping keep us motivated and giving us ideas for new ways to push ourselves.
5. Weighing every morning and night. It helps keep me focused, accountable and prepared to do what I need that day to keep working towards my goals. For instance, if my weight loss seems low or adds back up one morning, I know I need to try a little harder that day to keep my trend going.
6. THE BIGGEST THING OF ALL IS... Have you noticed that I keep saying "we"? That's right, my husband. I honestly could not be a success without him. He has been my best coach and motivator. He works so hard and gently pulls me along with him. He gives me compliments and constantly encourages me. Somehow he encourages or challenges me without being cruel or making me feel fat. I don't know how he does it, but I want to be just like him! He is very obsessed and excited with being healthy lately and it's hard not to get on the bandwagon. I think he would make an amazing trainer someday. Hmm....
I am still not perfect, but I am trying. I am still not skinny, but I am losing and toning. I still eat what I need to or want, but with moderation. I still am not very self-motivated or confident, but it is growing and in the meantime I have a husband who is helping me. I still forget to be reading the Bible, but I actually want to now and have a plan. I am still failing, but I am now succeeding more than I fail! So there you go. Success! Now just praying it keeps going...
1. Success! Nothing like success to motivate further work.
2. Working out in front of the TV at night is really working for us. Through Pilates, my legs are slimming down and for the first time in my life I'm flexible! I feel like crunches and situps are the biggest thing helping me to lose the weight. Maybe because most of my weight is in my tummy? The only bad thing about this is we are having to get creative to come up with new exercises to keep us challenged and to keep the weight coming.
3. Watching calories is key. We're not being perfect, but we are looking at everything we eat. I am trying to keep my caloric intake to 1200-1500 a day. Somedays it is more and those are the days we try to work out extra hard.
4. Watching The Biggest Loser is helping keep us motivated and giving us ideas for new ways to push ourselves.
5. Weighing every morning and night. It helps keep me focused, accountable and prepared to do what I need that day to keep working towards my goals. For instance, if my weight loss seems low or adds back up one morning, I know I need to try a little harder that day to keep my trend going.
6. THE BIGGEST THING OF ALL IS... Have you noticed that I keep saying "we"? That's right, my husband. I honestly could not be a success without him. He has been my best coach and motivator. He works so hard and gently pulls me along with him. He gives me compliments and constantly encourages me. Somehow he encourages or challenges me without being cruel or making me feel fat. I don't know how he does it, but I want to be just like him! He is very obsessed and excited with being healthy lately and it's hard not to get on the bandwagon. I think he would make an amazing trainer someday. Hmm....
I am still not perfect, but I am trying. I am still not skinny, but I am losing and toning. I still eat what I need to or want, but with moderation. I still am not very self-motivated or confident, but it is growing and in the meantime I have a husband who is helping me. I still forget to be reading the Bible, but I actually want to now and have a plan. I am still failing, but I am now succeeding more than I fail! So there you go. Success! Now just praying it keeps going...
Monday, October 31, 2011
Wahoo!!!
There is no better feeling then those weeks where the pounds just pour off! That's right everyone!!!! The 10 pound mark has occurred and passed before I could even get a chance to write! I am now at 11 lbs although the way things have been going, I fully expect to hit 12 lbs by tomorrow. Working out while watching TV (right now we're still on a Biggest Loser kick) has been really working. I have been losing a pound every 2-4 days. My husband is also losing fast! It's so fun to see the changes in our faces and bodies. Strength training just adds to that as not only do you see yourself getting skinnier, but you see big muscles developing. The more you lose, the more motivated you are. Now that I'm out of the 30s and now only 28 lbs left, it makes my goal feel within reach.
Another thing I've noticed about working out at night is that it beats the late night cravings. I always feel a deep need to snack come 8:00-9:00. For some reason, working out seems to curb those cravings. Now when I get hungry, I just promise myself to wait until after I do one routine of everything (weights for arms, pilates for legs, and crunches for back and tummy) before I give in. Everytime, I'm no longer hungry after the workout (or too tired to get up and get something). It helps me give my body the time to let the hunger pass.
Another thing we are doing is just a little watching of our diet. We have been limiting our soda intake to one a day. We have been being mindful of the calories we eat. Instead of forcing ourselves to eat carrot sticks, we are choosing to take a few calories off of every meal (hold the mayo!) or eat smaller portions. If we can do both, fantastic! Really, we are still eating such things as pizza and Taco Bell, we are just continually eating less or better than we did before. For now it's working. When we start to plateau, we'll have to take everything a step farther.
One amazing benefit to all of these changes has been my desire to up the ante in my spiritual life. It just came naturally. I was given a free One Year Chronological Bible and found that it really intrigued me to read everything in chronological order. So I started reading it. I found that all of a sudden not only am I doing my daily devotions, but I strongly look forward to that time of the day when I can sit with coffee and read it! One choice that has been helping me is that I do not demand that I get it done every day. Instead, I leave it as a treat. When it stops being a treat, I'll have to get more hardcore, but right now I'm enjoying delighting in it.
So for now, we are eating a realistic diet, adding a realistic amount of exercise into our life, making realistic changes to our spiritual life, and winning more and more! Guess what? We are also losing unrealistic pounds! It's working!!!
Another thing I've noticed about working out at night is that it beats the late night cravings. I always feel a deep need to snack come 8:00-9:00. For some reason, working out seems to curb those cravings. Now when I get hungry, I just promise myself to wait until after I do one routine of everything (weights for arms, pilates for legs, and crunches for back and tummy) before I give in. Everytime, I'm no longer hungry after the workout (or too tired to get up and get something). It helps me give my body the time to let the hunger pass.
Another thing we are doing is just a little watching of our diet. We have been limiting our soda intake to one a day. We have been being mindful of the calories we eat. Instead of forcing ourselves to eat carrot sticks, we are choosing to take a few calories off of every meal (hold the mayo!) or eat smaller portions. If we can do both, fantastic! Really, we are still eating such things as pizza and Taco Bell, we are just continually eating less or better than we did before. For now it's working. When we start to plateau, we'll have to take everything a step farther.
One amazing benefit to all of these changes has been my desire to up the ante in my spiritual life. It just came naturally. I was given a free One Year Chronological Bible and found that it really intrigued me to read everything in chronological order. So I started reading it. I found that all of a sudden not only am I doing my daily devotions, but I strongly look forward to that time of the day when I can sit with coffee and read it! One choice that has been helping me is that I do not demand that I get it done every day. Instead, I leave it as a treat. When it stops being a treat, I'll have to get more hardcore, but right now I'm enjoying delighting in it.
So for now, we are eating a realistic diet, adding a realistic amount of exercise into our life, making realistic changes to our spiritual life, and winning more and more! Guess what? We are also losing unrealistic pounds! It's working!!!
Thursday, October 27, 2011
A Realistic Workout
So what is a realistic workout? This is something I have been struggling with and probably will always struggle with. I was never the athlete. I do not enjoy beating myself into submission. Goals and statistics mean nothing to me. The big question today is how to exercise when you're not good at it, don't have the time, don't have the drive, and especially when you're not always sure why.
Being a mom with lots of jobs and activities, I really don't have time for an hour in the gym every day. The good days are the days that I have 30-60 minutes off where I could choose to exercise (sacrificing other things I'd like to do during that time like cleaning, relaxing, napping, etc). So I need exercises that I can fit into all of the different types of days I have. The days where I don't have time, the days where I do have time, and the days that I have time but choose to use it for something else.
Here are some of the options I have had success with. Maybe they'll help you. (If nothing else, skip to #4, because I put the best tip at the end.)
1. Taking walks/runs. I am just not at the place yet where I can or will get up early just to go walk/run in the cold. So we keep this as a social option of exercise. My husband and I like to take walks/runs together when it is a nice day and we have time. It's wonderful to be able to chat and workout together.
2. Xbox Kinect Your Shape. My husband is a gamer, so we have some expensive exercise equipment in the house on our TV. There are several game stations that offer exercise games, but my favorite after trying several is the Xbox Kinect Your Shape. It offers all types of workouts. It looks at your body and tells you if you're doing them correctly. It also shows a very realistic (complete with fat bulges) view of your body on the screen as it works out. I've found this quite motivating. The game follows your statistics and gives you grades on your workouts so you can keep improving. It also changes up your workouts tailoring them to your skill level. The game is not perfect, but I've found that it gives me a good workout without going overboard and making me frustrated. It works you out like a workout video, except it's like having a trainer in the room that corrects your form. The bad thing about this game is you have to have time to do it without kids around. You also need a big space to workout in without anyone coming into it (for us that means using precious naptime minutes and the hassle of moving the couches around). I like to use this exercise method when I have the time to myself. It is the hardest workout that I have available.
3. Elliptical. We do have an elliptical. However, it is really old so a) it squeaks something awful and b)the settings are old school and it starts the resistance a little too high for my out of shape knees. I love the elliptical, but ours kind of sucks. I can go to the gym and do it forever, but I can only handle ours for about 10 minutes before my knees start giving out, needing to stop before my heart rate gets up. So this is a hopeful future workout as I get stronger.
4. Workout as you relax! Weird concept I know, but this one has helped me the most. My husband picked this up from some tips off The Biggest Loser. At first, I thought he was crazy, but I've since become a bit addicted to it. We like to watch quite a lot of TV and movies at night. So instead of just sitting there, we've started using the dumbells to do arm exercises as we watch, doing situps, push ups, and pilates exercises. It feels a little embarrassing at first with your partner right there and like you're going to deprive yourself of relaxation time. Yet, I feel more relaxed after as I get to enjoy my program, get rid of guilt for just sitting, and feel accomplished by the muscles I feel growing hard all over my body. I've found I have a tendency to do more reps while I'm distracted by TV. Oddly enough, I get more work done while I'm relaxing (when the pressure if off) than when I have a whole hour set aside just to work out by myself.
Please hear my shouts of encouragement over the internet and start working while you relax! It's the best feeling and makes the relaxation feel more complete. Just give it a try! It doesn't really matter what you do, how well you do it, or for how long. Just do something!
I am always looking for more good ideas for realistic workouts. Feel free to share!
Being a mom with lots of jobs and activities, I really don't have time for an hour in the gym every day. The good days are the days that I have 30-60 minutes off where I could choose to exercise (sacrificing other things I'd like to do during that time like cleaning, relaxing, napping, etc). So I need exercises that I can fit into all of the different types of days I have. The days where I don't have time, the days where I do have time, and the days that I have time but choose to use it for something else.
Here are some of the options I have had success with. Maybe they'll help you. (If nothing else, skip to #4, because I put the best tip at the end.)
1. Taking walks/runs. I am just not at the place yet where I can or will get up early just to go walk/run in the cold. So we keep this as a social option of exercise. My husband and I like to take walks/runs together when it is a nice day and we have time. It's wonderful to be able to chat and workout together.
2. Xbox Kinect Your Shape. My husband is a gamer, so we have some expensive exercise equipment in the house on our TV. There are several game stations that offer exercise games, but my favorite after trying several is the Xbox Kinect Your Shape. It offers all types of workouts. It looks at your body and tells you if you're doing them correctly. It also shows a very realistic (complete with fat bulges) view of your body on the screen as it works out. I've found this quite motivating. The game follows your statistics and gives you grades on your workouts so you can keep improving. It also changes up your workouts tailoring them to your skill level. The game is not perfect, but I've found that it gives me a good workout without going overboard and making me frustrated. It works you out like a workout video, except it's like having a trainer in the room that corrects your form. The bad thing about this game is you have to have time to do it without kids around. You also need a big space to workout in without anyone coming into it (for us that means using precious naptime minutes and the hassle of moving the couches around). I like to use this exercise method when I have the time to myself. It is the hardest workout that I have available.
3. Elliptical. We do have an elliptical. However, it is really old so a) it squeaks something awful and b)the settings are old school and it starts the resistance a little too high for my out of shape knees. I love the elliptical, but ours kind of sucks. I can go to the gym and do it forever, but I can only handle ours for about 10 minutes before my knees start giving out, needing to stop before my heart rate gets up. So this is a hopeful future workout as I get stronger.
4. Workout as you relax! Weird concept I know, but this one has helped me the most. My husband picked this up from some tips off The Biggest Loser. At first, I thought he was crazy, but I've since become a bit addicted to it. We like to watch quite a lot of TV and movies at night. So instead of just sitting there, we've started using the dumbells to do arm exercises as we watch, doing situps, push ups, and pilates exercises. It feels a little embarrassing at first with your partner right there and like you're going to deprive yourself of relaxation time. Yet, I feel more relaxed after as I get to enjoy my program, get rid of guilt for just sitting, and feel accomplished by the muscles I feel growing hard all over my body. I've found I have a tendency to do more reps while I'm distracted by TV. Oddly enough, I get more work done while I'm relaxing (when the pressure if off) than when I have a whole hour set aside just to work out by myself.
Please hear my shouts of encouragement over the internet and start working while you relax! It's the best feeling and makes the relaxation feel more complete. Just give it a try! It doesn't really matter what you do, how well you do it, or for how long. Just do something!
I am always looking for more good ideas for realistic workouts. Feel free to share!
Monday, October 24, 2011
The Tortoise or the Hare?
My husband and I have recently been competing for weight loss. I'm the tortoise. I've been slowly and steadily losing for months now.
My husband's drive is a new thing. He is definitely the hare. His goal is to keep his caloric intake to 1000 tops working off any excess. He walks at least 3 miles a day and when he can does 100 pushups and 100 situps. In other words, every moment of the day that he's not doing anything, he's exercising. Working the barbels in front of the TV, walking around the basement at work in between things, you name it...no please don't...then he'll do that, too! Driving me nuts!
His drive is partially motivating to me and partially just guilt inducing torture. I do not have times at work that I can work out like he can. I don't have the drive to torture myself like he does. I am the personality that works out only if I have to and within reason. Whereas he thrives in self-flagellation. It makes for an impossible situation where I cannot possibly workout like him, yet feel the pressure from myself and him to try.
Don't get me wrong, he will never be the husband that calls me fat or pressures me to look a certain way. But he does want me to be healthy. And I really appreciate it.
Anyways, we ended up in an unintentional race this week to the 10 pound mark. We both ended up coming down to the finish line together! Unlike the famous children's tale, the hare won this race fair and square. He beat me just barely! It was kind of fun though. Kind of poked my competitive side into action.
I guess I need to kick my butt into gear because there is no way I can let him beat me to 15! I'm still racing with .2 pounds left until that big 10 pound mark! Pretty proud of myself already!
My husband's drive is a new thing. He is definitely the hare. His goal is to keep his caloric intake to 1000 tops working off any excess. He walks at least 3 miles a day and when he can does 100 pushups and 100 situps. In other words, every moment of the day that he's not doing anything, he's exercising. Working the barbels in front of the TV, walking around the basement at work in between things, you name it...no please don't...then he'll do that, too! Driving me nuts!
His drive is partially motivating to me and partially just guilt inducing torture. I do not have times at work that I can work out like he can. I don't have the drive to torture myself like he does. I am the personality that works out only if I have to and within reason. Whereas he thrives in self-flagellation. It makes for an impossible situation where I cannot possibly workout like him, yet feel the pressure from myself and him to try.
Don't get me wrong, he will never be the husband that calls me fat or pressures me to look a certain way. But he does want me to be healthy. And I really appreciate it.
Anyways, we ended up in an unintentional race this week to the 10 pound mark. We both ended up coming down to the finish line together! Unlike the famous children's tale, the hare won this race fair and square. He beat me just barely! It was kind of fun though. Kind of poked my competitive side into action.
I guess I need to kick my butt into gear because there is no way I can let him beat me to 15! I'm still racing with .2 pounds left until that big 10 pound mark! Pretty proud of myself already!
Wednesday, October 5, 2011
Back to the Beginning of the Diet Cycle
Things are looking up since my last post. My life has not got any less busy. For instance, I have dishes and old food sitting in my kitchen that have been there for three days. Not sure when I'll actually get to them. That's what happens when you pick up extra shifts and work 14 hour days. Oh well, that's life and my reality.
However, things are still looking up. I have hopes for a better, more balanced future. Some changes are already in the works to the amount of hours I work. A little scary as it will mean a drop in income, but I know that we will be taken care of. God is the one causing the changes, not me, which helps my nerves. My husband is also stepping it way up and helping take some of my load.
I am still struggling though. My crazy life and being sick for three weeks straight now is not making dieting easy. Yet, I'm feeling more motivated than I have in a long time. There are a couple of things that are really helping:
A song that hit me today, especially the tragedies of losing parents this week.
However, things are still looking up. I have hopes for a better, more balanced future. Some changes are already in the works to the amount of hours I work. A little scary as it will mean a drop in income, but I know that we will be taken care of. God is the one causing the changes, not me, which helps my nerves. My husband is also stepping it way up and helping take some of my load.
I am still struggling though. My crazy life and being sick for three weeks straight now is not making dieting easy. Yet, I'm feeling more motivated than I have in a long time. There are a couple of things that are really helping:
- We got a new exercise program on our Xbox Kinect! It gives us a great way to have many different styles of workouts in our own living room. The bad news is that just the set up fitness test kicked my butt. I'm still hobbling around 3 days later. :)
- My body is shouting for good food! It's to the point where junk food is making me sick. There really is not a greater motivator for me than having a sick stomach.
- Watching a close friend slim down with her new exercise routine.
- Conversely, getting family pictures and seeing just how big I am in the camera's eyes. Yikes!
- I've had several situations around me lately of parents leaving their children early due to bad health. My bad eating and lack of exercise will lead to cancer, heart disease, obesity, diabetes, autoimmune diseases, and who knows what else that is not within my family. It breaks my heart to think of me putting my family in that situation, me leaving my son without a mommy. Talk about motivating...
A song that hit me today, especially the tragedies of losing parents this week.
Tuesday, September 20, 2011
Failures Bringing Success?
I lost two pounds this week. I came down terribly sick and frankly did not have anyone getting me food, so I just didn't eat. Not the best way to lose weight, but I guess at least it worked. So far, I've had a long stint of keeping off the pounds, but not losing anymore. I guess I just need to keep getting sick. Last time I directed kid's choir at church I was sick every other week. Maybe I will look at that in a positive light as my weight loss plan...
So, I obviously haven't been on in a while and I obviously haven't been winning as I haven't lost any weight. I honestly haven't even been trying. The problem with a realistic, holistic diet is that is doesn't just include your diet. Your whole life is involved. I am finding out that the way I have my life set up is making it impossible to achieve my goals. The root problem is no longer the food, but rather the way I run my life.
I am slowly wrestling through these problems and hopefully will have more answers or at least clear posts soon. For today, all I have are big questions, possibly unanswerable questions. I don't know. But it's all I have.
- Is selfishness in proportion a bad thing or a good thing?
- Can you live your life well completely selfless (obviously Christ did, but can we?)
- What is my definition of selflessness. Can it possibly include being a doormat?
- At what point do you just give up.
- I let the people around me run me over constantly. How do I learn not to do that? What part of my response now is healthy boundaries and what part is spiteful, bitterness?
- How much longer can I do this? Is doing everything really the smartest idea? If not, how do I fix it?
And perhaps the saddest one in my mind, yet the one that got me thinking about all of the rest:
- Who takes care of me?
I am wishing today that I had somebody, anybody, who has been through this in their family. A counselor, a godly wife who serves too much, a woman who tries to be superwoman, someone.
The truth is that I am out of energy. I just can't do it. I spent yesterday in bed not really because I was sick, but rather because I couldn't face reality. If I can't handle life, how in the world can I handle a diet? And that is realistically and honestly where I'm at.
So, I obviously haven't been on in a while and I obviously haven't been winning as I haven't lost any weight. I honestly haven't even been trying. The problem with a realistic, holistic diet is that is doesn't just include your diet. Your whole life is involved. I am finding out that the way I have my life set up is making it impossible to achieve my goals. The root problem is no longer the food, but rather the way I run my life.
I am slowly wrestling through these problems and hopefully will have more answers or at least clear posts soon. For today, all I have are big questions, possibly unanswerable questions. I don't know. But it's all I have.
- Is selfishness in proportion a bad thing or a good thing?
- Can you live your life well completely selfless (obviously Christ did, but can we?)
- What is my definition of selflessness. Can it possibly include being a doormat?
- At what point do you just give up.
- I let the people around me run me over constantly. How do I learn not to do that? What part of my response now is healthy boundaries and what part is spiteful, bitterness?
- How much longer can I do this? Is doing everything really the smartest idea? If not, how do I fix it?
And perhaps the saddest one in my mind, yet the one that got me thinking about all of the rest:
- Who takes care of me?
I am wishing today that I had somebody, anybody, who has been through this in their family. A counselor, a godly wife who serves too much, a woman who tries to be superwoman, someone.
The truth is that I am out of energy. I just can't do it. I spent yesterday in bed not really because I was sick, but rather because I couldn't face reality. If I can't handle life, how in the world can I handle a diet? And that is realistically and honestly where I'm at.
Wednesday, August 24, 2011
Positive Addendum to My Negativity Party
I ended the last post feeling like Wesley in the Pit of Despair. I feel like I'm failing and have no answers on how to stop. So I decided to go back and read some of my older posts to get my blood pumping a motivating beat.
I realized something. I am not a complete failure.
For someone who is a people pleaser and unrealistic goal setter, this is not a phrase I use often. Instead I adore beating myself over the head and shouting "Failure!"
Instead, I need to speak truth. Here are a list of things I have succeeded in these least dark weeks. Here's the truth:
I realized something. I am not a complete failure.
For someone who is a people pleaser and unrealistic goal setter, this is not a phrase I use often. Instead I adore beating myself over the head and shouting "Failure!"
Instead, I need to speak truth. Here are a list of things I have succeeded in these least dark weeks. Here's the truth:
- I hardly ever eat to fill a need anymore. Eating to reward myself or fill a need is not even on my radar these days. When did that happen?!
- I am much more concious of what I eat and if I could afford it I would choose to eat healthier foods. That is a change.
- I am working at being more put together. I made myself spend money on me and bought some new clothes. I got a nice new haircut that is easier to care for and very trendy (loving it!). I dyed my hair a fun red to look more attractive and polished.
- I was very, very tempted to quit these last few weeks. But I didn't. And I won't. That above everything else is a huge success!
It Hit the Fan
All hell has broken loose at my house. I think it would be easier for me to say what I'm not doing these days. Oh wait, that would be eating healthy, reading Scripture, stopping when I'm full, and losing weight.
Most people would call this a fall off the wagon, but I refuse to think in those terms. You know what people do after they fall off the wagon? Give up and die. I just can't do that.
Does that mean that tomorrow I'm going to get back on my diet? Hee hee, that's funny. Probably not the next day either. But I'm holding out that maybe the next day things will be different.
And besides, being that this is a realistic and forever diet, I never actually went off of it. Just haven't had a successful diet experience these last couple of weeks. My diet is not dependent on my success, only my weight loss is.
So the big question is, how to get started. I have just a few obstacles to hurdle first. Namely the millions of things I do and problems in my life right now.
I'm a wife, mommy, admin assistant, nanny, voice teacher to 6 people, mommy, director of a 60+ children's choir, librarian, mommy, household accountant, household chef, mommy and oh yes household maid. I recently charted out my week and not counting mommying or family time, I work 53 hours a week bare minimum. Yikes!
Those are just the things I do. Obstacles? Well, we are dirt poor at the moment so I don't have the money to eat healthy food (still living off mac and cheese); due to crappy food, busy schedule and crazy hormones I am nothing short of bone tired all of the time; I don't have family here supporting me nor time with friends to gain that support.
Wah wah wah. There's my pity party for the week.
You know what all of these things are? Excuses. Oh yes, they are slightly legitimate and do have an effect on my diet, but the bottom line is I (me, myself, and I) am still failing.
As I have been failing in finding time to prep for this season's kid's choir which starts Sunday, (failure is a common theme lately) I have instead been grabbing onto some fantastic advice my mentor and worship director gave me. Just let go and let God. Overly used and sappy, I know. Yet, so very true! Especially in the ministry!
I think that's where I am right now. I just have too much on my plate and I'm failing at everything. I can't do it. I just can't do it!
Maybe my situation is a purposeful celestial reminder to me. Who knows. But I really am at a place right now where I cannot possibly get back on that wagon (so to speak).
So I'm letting God pry off my fingers... I'm letting Him help figure this all out... I'm surviving on the hope that He does...and SOON!
Most people would call this a fall off the wagon, but I refuse to think in those terms. You know what people do after they fall off the wagon? Give up and die. I just can't do that.
Does that mean that tomorrow I'm going to get back on my diet? Hee hee, that's funny. Probably not the next day either. But I'm holding out that maybe the next day things will be different.
And besides, being that this is a realistic and forever diet, I never actually went off of it. Just haven't had a successful diet experience these last couple of weeks. My diet is not dependent on my success, only my weight loss is.
So the big question is, how to get started. I have just a few obstacles to hurdle first. Namely the millions of things I do and problems in my life right now.
I'm a wife, mommy, admin assistant, nanny, voice teacher to 6 people, mommy, director of a 60+ children's choir, librarian, mommy, household accountant, household chef, mommy and oh yes household maid. I recently charted out my week and not counting mommying or family time, I work 53 hours a week bare minimum. Yikes!
Those are just the things I do. Obstacles? Well, we are dirt poor at the moment so I don't have the money to eat healthy food (still living off mac and cheese); due to crappy food, busy schedule and crazy hormones I am nothing short of bone tired all of the time; I don't have family here supporting me nor time with friends to gain that support.
Wah wah wah. There's my pity party for the week.
You know what all of these things are? Excuses. Oh yes, they are slightly legitimate and do have an effect on my diet, but the bottom line is I (me, myself, and I) am still failing.
As I have been failing in finding time to prep for this season's kid's choir which starts Sunday, (failure is a common theme lately) I have instead been grabbing onto some fantastic advice my mentor and worship director gave me. Just let go and let God. Overly used and sappy, I know. Yet, so very true! Especially in the ministry!
I think that's where I am right now. I just have too much on my plate and I'm failing at everything. I can't do it. I just can't do it!
Maybe my situation is a purposeful celestial reminder to me. Who knows. But I really am at a place right now where I cannot possibly get back on that wagon (so to speak).
So I'm letting God pry off my fingers... I'm letting Him help figure this all out... I'm surviving on the hope that He does...and SOON!
Thursday, August 18, 2011
I Wish My Scale Were Broken.
I wish my scale wouldn't be so darn truthful!
I know it's been a while since I've been on here. We had a busy spell in our lives these last few weeks. I direct a large kid's choir at church and we are starting up our fall semester in about 10 days. That means lots of planning, panic attacks, memorizing, planning, scheduling, emailing, panic attacks, and yet more planning.
My job schedule is also shifting through a week of vacation for my babysitter (giving me a week of catch up which ended up being more busy than productive) and then a full job schedule shift starting next week. Oh and a trip to see my parents in a few weeks. Basically CRAZYNESS!!!!
So how has dieting gone? Well...pretty non-existant. I'm still trying to be concious, but losing most battles. Over the past week I have managed to gain and then lose 1.5 pounds putting me back to where I was at last post. Not exactly progress and still very discouraged over what I gained. Still in that mode where you look in the mirror and see your extra fat self, not the true reflection.
The thing is, this busyness is a reality in my life. Sure, I'll have down time, but this is pretty much going to be my life. I work four jobs, have a husband, do the majority of our housework, have a baby and plan on having more soon. My life is a constantly shifting schedule of busyness.
So rather than try to keep doing what I was doing through the changes, I think I need to start thinking about a way to mold my diet around my life. Again, this is a realistic diet. I need it to work in my busy reality. Right now, I don't have any answers. I'll just keep thinking and praying.
For now I'd give myself a
not so much because I'm succeeding, but at least I keep on trying. I'm not going to give up.
I know it's been a while since I've been on here. We had a busy spell in our lives these last few weeks. I direct a large kid's choir at church and we are starting up our fall semester in about 10 days. That means lots of planning, panic attacks, memorizing, planning, scheduling, emailing, panic attacks, and yet more planning.
My job schedule is also shifting through a week of vacation for my babysitter (giving me a week of catch up which ended up being more busy than productive) and then a full job schedule shift starting next week. Oh and a trip to see my parents in a few weeks. Basically CRAZYNESS!!!!
So how has dieting gone? Well...pretty non-existant. I'm still trying to be concious, but losing most battles. Over the past week I have managed to gain and then lose 1.5 pounds putting me back to where I was at last post. Not exactly progress and still very discouraged over what I gained. Still in that mode where you look in the mirror and see your extra fat self, not the true reflection.
The thing is, this busyness is a reality in my life. Sure, I'll have down time, but this is pretty much going to be my life. I work four jobs, have a husband, do the majority of our housework, have a baby and plan on having more soon. My life is a constantly shifting schedule of busyness.
So rather than try to keep doing what I was doing through the changes, I think I need to start thinking about a way to mold my diet around my life. Again, this is a realistic diet. I need it to work in my busy reality. Right now, I don't have any answers. I'll just keep thinking and praying.
For now I'd give myself a
3
not so much because I'm succeeding, but at least I keep on trying. I'm not going to give up.
Monday, August 8, 2011
Fail!
I hate to decide the success of the week on one day, but I think this week it's really true.
I had a pretty successful week. I was watching my scale slowly count down towards the next pound. xxx.3, xxx.2, xxx.1, xxx.0...just a 10th of a point away from 7 pounds lost!
Then I got hit below the belt (see previous post). I had a bad night. On top of it, the reason I was upset was directly related to how I thought someone felt about my body and looks. What did I do? Oh, I splurged. Not terribly, but enough. I ate what I wanted and filled that hole right up! Not with sweets (I'm not that type of over eater) just with pizza and a second dinner of cereal. Lots of both.
Guess what happened? I gained almost a pound. Sigh. All of that progress and success gone in one night!
Out of pure anger over my hugely lost battle this weekend and letting myself get too caught up in what my scale thought of me, I am giving myself a big super fat
I had a pretty successful week. I was watching my scale slowly count down towards the next pound. xxx.3, xxx.2, xxx.1, xxx.0...just a 10th of a point away from 7 pounds lost!
Then I got hit below the belt (see previous post). I had a bad night. On top of it, the reason I was upset was directly related to how I thought someone felt about my body and looks. What did I do? Oh, I splurged. Not terribly, but enough. I ate what I wanted and filled that hole right up! Not with sweets (I'm not that type of over eater) just with pizza and a second dinner of cereal. Lots of both.
Guess what happened? I gained almost a pound. Sigh. All of that progress and success gone in one night!
Out of pure anger over my hugely lost battle this weekend and letting myself get too caught up in what my scale thought of me, I am giving myself a big super fat
3
for the week. Let's hope this week is better!
Affirmation Feels Good...But It Sure Doesn't Last!
I have had some good successes lately. I am 6 pounds lighter, I felt pretty good the last time I was in a dressing room, I feel pretty for the first time in months, and I've been feeling like my friends and husband have noticed as well.
I've been on a loser's high. I feel like people view me differently. I feel more confident. I feel like some problems I have had in my marriage and life were getting fixed just by those little changes. In fact, I started believing that my small weight change and few extra clothes in my closet had solved a lot of my problems. Everything was wonderful and rosy again.
So it was a shock on many levels when the same old problems smacked me in the face last night. I knew that some issues in my life were not actually attributed to my weight gain. Yet, in that moment I realized I had started believing that terrible whisper in my head and thinking that since my body was changing, my life would follow suit.
I was putting my trust in weight loss to fix my problems.
The thing about a diet is that it really only fixes one problem...what the scale says. How many people have you seen get down to a model thin weight and still not be happy with themselves? What about the ones who were fat and dysfunctional that just become skinny and more dysfunctional?
I think this was a good reality check. Sure, feeling prettier is great! However, the scale isn't really what changed my looks. One pound is hardly visible. It was how I felt about myself.
I'd best not hinge how I feel about myself on my scale's judgement. I'd best not expect my marriage to be all new once I feel prettier. I'd best not trust in my self-discipline to sustain me through this process. I'd best not get caught up in how my body looks compared to the desired norm. I'd best not look to my loved ones for affirmation.
I think I'd better just trust God...period.
I've been on a loser's high. I feel like people view me differently. I feel more confident. I feel like some problems I have had in my marriage and life were getting fixed just by those little changes. In fact, I started believing that my small weight change and few extra clothes in my closet had solved a lot of my problems. Everything was wonderful and rosy again.
So it was a shock on many levels when the same old problems smacked me in the face last night. I knew that some issues in my life were not actually attributed to my weight gain. Yet, in that moment I realized I had started believing that terrible whisper in my head and thinking that since my body was changing, my life would follow suit.
I was putting my trust in weight loss to fix my problems.
The thing about a diet is that it really only fixes one problem...what the scale says. How many people have you seen get down to a model thin weight and still not be happy with themselves? What about the ones who were fat and dysfunctional that just become skinny and more dysfunctional?
I think this was a good reality check. Sure, feeling prettier is great! However, the scale isn't really what changed my looks. One pound is hardly visible. It was how I felt about myself.
I'd best not hinge how I feel about myself on my scale's judgement. I'd best not expect my marriage to be all new once I feel prettier. I'd best not trust in my self-discipline to sustain me through this process. I'd best not get caught up in how my body looks compared to the desired norm. I'd best not look to my loved ones for affirmation.
I think I'd better just trust God...period.
Wednesday, August 3, 2011
Keep On Keeping On!
Our scale gives the poundage to the first decimal. For instance 113.2 pounds (definitely not a real weight at our house). I have been slowly watching the .x go down and down. Definitely encouraging! I am still only losing about 1 pound per week, but at least not just keeping it off, but still losing. I'm sure I could lose more if I worked out and ate better.
However, this diet is all about being realistic. The reality is that I do not have the time to exercise or the weather that allows me to do my outdoor walking. I also don't have the money to buy healthy foods. Right now we are still living off of cheap freezer pizza, mac and cheese, and ramen...pretty much. Is it healthy? Nope. But necessary for now.
So I would have to call this week a success. Has it been perfect? No, far from it. But it has been as perfect as reality will allow. I'm still losing, still stopping when I'm full, and still refreshing myself with Scripture when I can. So I would give this week an:
However, this diet is all about being realistic. The reality is that I do not have the time to exercise or the weather that allows me to do my outdoor walking. I also don't have the money to buy healthy foods. Right now we are still living off of cheap freezer pizza, mac and cheese, and ramen...pretty much. Is it healthy? Nope. But necessary for now.
So I would have to call this week a success. Has it been perfect? No, far from it. But it has been as perfect as reality will allow. I'm still losing, still stopping when I'm full, and still refreshing myself with Scripture when I can. So I would give this week an:
8
Monday, August 1, 2011
An Encouraging Gift
I have had a wonderful, encouraging weekend! Just when I needed it most! My son is 9 months old and since I’ve been pregnant with him I have felt like I lost who I was as a woman. I felt like my body became a mommy body.
I have always been a well put together, fashionable person. I try hard to look nice and to frugally buy clothes that are up-to-date and unique.
Since getting pregnant I have sacrificed that part of me to be a mom. My body does not feel pretty. It has crazy stretch marks, bulges, and does not fit into any clothing. I will go out shopping and typically come back empty handed.
I also never (and I do mean never) have the time to shop. I do not have someone who can watch Roen while I go and I’ve learned from many tearful experiences that shopping with Roen is not an option. I have also been very poor. All of my money has gone to Roen. Even this last Christmas, I got money specifically for clothes. After several wasted shopping trips I spent the money on sheets instead out of frustration.
So I have been eking by on clothes that barely fit and are not attractive. I will be painfully honest and admit that one of my outfits is a swimming dress with a tank top under it. It looks kind of like a regular dress… Kind of. It is one of the few things that actually fit in my closet and looks halfway decent. I feel like one of the worst fashion disasters that deserves to be on TMC’s “What Not to Wear.”
This birthday I got $150 to make myself over with. I have not had that much cash all to myself in years!!! However, I was discouraged yesterday as I didn’t have time to shop and had no hope of finding anything even if I did. Than my husband sacrificially and yet excitedly asked me to go shopping with him.
Than another weird thing happened. I was dead set on shopping at consignment stores to get more for my money. I was just going to deal with second hand clothing that hopefully would just work. Than for some reason I just had this feeling that I had to shop at Maurices. It just popped into my head. So we went to Maurices, a clothing store that I love, but that is waaay expensive.
We got to the store and found out they had a good sale going on. However, I know how sale stuff goes. It’s typically only the yucky stuff that doesn’t look good on that’s left over. I went to the dressing room loaded down with regular items and a few sale items I figured I would try on just in case. None of the regular priced things worked and I got depressed.
Then I started on the sale items… Not only were they unusually good, but the 5 pounds I had lost finally made them work! In the end, I walked out of the stores with 3 new shirts, a gorgeous lace undershirt, capris, trousers, and a professional looking dress for $75! All gorgeous and well fitting!
I still have $75 to get a nice new haircut and pedicure. All together, I feel very put together and lovely for the first time in over a year! Such a blessing!
It was also very encouraging to me to keep losing weight and a blessing to feel pretty in the meantime.
I am also very encouraged that my appetite has dropped significantly. I am finally eating modest portions. I am still getting good nutrition, but now naturally stopping when I am full and not eating ridiculous, super-sized portions. Over-indulging just does not appeal to me. Even my birthday cake and ice cream, I only ate them to please my mother-in-law who made them for me. And I only ate a little. It is good to see that heart change (and stomach size change) really happening. This is going to happen!
I have always been a well put together, fashionable person. I try hard to look nice and to frugally buy clothes that are up-to-date and unique.
Since getting pregnant I have sacrificed that part of me to be a mom. My body does not feel pretty. It has crazy stretch marks, bulges, and does not fit into any clothing. I will go out shopping and typically come back empty handed.
I also never (and I do mean never) have the time to shop. I do not have someone who can watch Roen while I go and I’ve learned from many tearful experiences that shopping with Roen is not an option. I have also been very poor. All of my money has gone to Roen. Even this last Christmas, I got money specifically for clothes. After several wasted shopping trips I spent the money on sheets instead out of frustration.
So I have been eking by on clothes that barely fit and are not attractive. I will be painfully honest and admit that one of my outfits is a swimming dress with a tank top under it. It looks kind of like a regular dress… Kind of. It is one of the few things that actually fit in my closet and looks halfway decent. I feel like one of the worst fashion disasters that deserves to be on TMC’s “What Not to Wear.”
This birthday I got $150 to make myself over with. I have not had that much cash all to myself in years!!! However, I was discouraged yesterday as I didn’t have time to shop and had no hope of finding anything even if I did. Than my husband sacrificially and yet excitedly asked me to go shopping with him.
Than another weird thing happened. I was dead set on shopping at consignment stores to get more for my money. I was just going to deal with second hand clothing that hopefully would just work. Than for some reason I just had this feeling that I had to shop at Maurices. It just popped into my head. So we went to Maurices, a clothing store that I love, but that is waaay expensive.
We got to the store and found out they had a good sale going on. However, I know how sale stuff goes. It’s typically only the yucky stuff that doesn’t look good on that’s left over. I went to the dressing room loaded down with regular items and a few sale items I figured I would try on just in case. None of the regular priced things worked and I got depressed.
Then I started on the sale items… Not only were they unusually good, but the 5 pounds I had lost finally made them work! In the end, I walked out of the stores with 3 new shirts, a gorgeous lace undershirt, capris, trousers, and a professional looking dress for $75! All gorgeous and well fitting!
I still have $75 to get a nice new haircut and pedicure. All together, I feel very put together and lovely for the first time in over a year! Such a blessing!
It was also very encouraging to me to keep losing weight and a blessing to feel pretty in the meantime.
I am also very encouraged that my appetite has dropped significantly. I am finally eating modest portions. I am still getting good nutrition, but now naturally stopping when I am full and not eating ridiculous, super-sized portions. Over-indulging just does not appeal to me. Even my birthday cake and ice cream, I only ate them to please my mother-in-law who made them for me. And I only ate a little. It is good to see that heart change (and stomach size change) really happening. This is going to happen!
Thursday, July 28, 2011
One More Down!
I lost a pound!!! That just doesn't sound as exciting as it should. Nor does my weight loss ticker look encouraging. I've decided to change my diet start date. As my faithful readers know, I started messing around with this diet a few weeks before I started this blog. By the time I started writing, I had already lost 4 pounds and had hit that point where your body stops losing.
Since than, I have lost 1 pound!!! So really, I'm up to 5. Plus I would estimate 2-2.5 inches around the big places (Shame on me, I still haven't measured!). I decided to go ahead and change my weight ticker to the full total so it told the full story.
I'm still keeping on. Nothing exciting is happening. I am not winning huge battles. I still am not eating perfectly, just a little bit better than I was. I never win all of the battles, nor all of the ones I do completely.
I think that will come though. The important thing is that it has been over a month since I started playing with this idea and I am still keeping at it! I am not going to stop this quest for a healhier me. This is a lifestyle change. I just can't stop...I can't do that to my family.
I did see an encouraging article this week which of course I didn't put up and now can't find. It was about a woman who lost 100 lbs merely by making better choices and small goals. She only focused on 5 lbs at a time and did only what she honestly could. It is possible!
Since than, I have lost 1 pound!!! So really, I'm up to 5. Plus I would estimate 2-2.5 inches around the big places (Shame on me, I still haven't measured!). I decided to go ahead and change my weight ticker to the full total so it told the full story.
I'm still keeping on. Nothing exciting is happening. I am not winning huge battles. I still am not eating perfectly, just a little bit better than I was. I never win all of the battles, nor all of the ones I do completely.
I think that will come though. The important thing is that it has been over a month since I started playing with this idea and I am still keeping at it! I am not going to stop this quest for a healhier me. This is a lifestyle change. I just can't stop...I can't do that to my family.
I did see an encouraging article this week which of course I didn't put up and now can't find. It was about a woman who lost 100 lbs merely by making better choices and small goals. She only focused on 5 lbs at a time and did only what she honestly could. It is possible!
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