I hate to make this blog about diet and exercise become a blog about pregnancy woes, but the truth is we moms are gonna get pregnant and it's really hard to stay healthy while pregnant. Just like baby #1, this baby is making momma pretty darn sick. My caloric intake is through the roof eating between 4-5 meals a day. I'm stuck eating whatever limited menu my belly will accept that day/moment/second. If my belly only wants an Arby's roast beef sandwich with a side of loaded Wendy's baked potato then anything else will just be thrown up. It's a matter of survival these days.
Exercise? Ha! Getting out of bed is my exercise right now. I must take one nap a day to survive which means I get behind on chores which snowballs into no exercising. In the evenings when we used to work out in front of the TV, I am honestly too tired to participate.
So how is it possible to keep healthy during pregnancy? Be realistic. The good news is that my body at least for now is balancing it all out. I'm starting to show, but I haven't gained any weight despite my crazed appetite and disgusting selections. In fact, during my last pregnancy I never gained any weight while I had morning sickness. Around 21 weeks the morning sickness went away and then I started gaining. So I suppose it's those times where you can control your diet that count. Once again, it's what you can do. Walking a few more parking spaces, napping so you'll be ready for more later, trying to shove the veggies down...it's the little things that matter. They add up.
In the end, yes it is all about the baby and a healthy delivery. However, anything you can do to help your health directly affects your baby positively. So do what you can! And when you can't...it's ok. You're baby won't die from a steady diet of McDonalds, Wendys, and Arby's in the beginning. Trust me, I've already delivered one extremely healthy little boy who I'm guilty to say had plenty of that in utero. Do what you need to survive, but when you can choose to do more, DO IT!
Tuesday, December 13, 2011
Monday, November 28, 2011
15 Pounds!!!! And More BIG Changes...
That's right everyone! I hit 15 pounds!!!
Yet that isn't the only big thing that's changing around here. We have a problem...
I'M PREGNANT!
Oops. No, this was planned (sort of), but does put a bit of a damper on things. After all, you're really not supposed to starve yourself or run 3 miles during pregnancy.
So instead, I'm going to switch things up a little. Obviously, once this baby is out I'm going to be back to the grindstone. For my second pregnancy, I'd like to do things very differently. I would like to continue my healthy eating and exercise throughout the pregnancy. So why not write about it? After all, we moms are going to have pregnancies happen and we can't afford to keep gaining from one to the next.
I'd also like to keep writing about our journey towards becoming personal trainers and helping others with their weight loss struggle. See previous post for our crazy new dreams.
So tune in! I may be pregnant but we are still going to keep things realistic, healthy, and strong around here. Here's to a nine month bunny trail!
Yet that isn't the only big thing that's changing around here. We have a problem...
I'M PREGNANT!
Oops. No, this was planned (sort of), but does put a bit of a damper on things. After all, you're really not supposed to starve yourself or run 3 miles during pregnancy.
So instead, I'm going to switch things up a little. Obviously, once this baby is out I'm going to be back to the grindstone. For my second pregnancy, I'd like to do things very differently. I would like to continue my healthy eating and exercise throughout the pregnancy. So why not write about it? After all, we moms are going to have pregnancies happen and we can't afford to keep gaining from one to the next.
I'd also like to keep writing about our journey towards becoming personal trainers and helping others with their weight loss struggle. See previous post for our crazy new dreams.
So tune in! I may be pregnant but we are still going to keep things realistic, healthy, and strong around here. Here's to a nine month bunny trail!
Is the Biggest Loser Just a Stupid Reality Show?
I really despise reality shows. I think that's why it's taken me 12 seasons to pick up the Biggest Loser. I watched it one night on a whim and was hooked! As much as I hate to say it, the Biggest Loser changed our lives (with a "little" help from God, of course).
At first, the changes were small. We all of a sudden become interested in exercise. We found new and interesting ways to do it. We started trying to lose weight. We started making a lifestyle out of losing weight. We actually starting LOSING weight!
Then the big change. A few weeks ago it hit me that my husband would make a fantastic personal trainer. My dear husband has been floundering for a while. He knows that he wants to do some sort of ministry, preferably a para-church organization or church planting. Yet, we couldn't think of one particular place to start. He knew he enjoyed marketing, so he's been working towards his degree in marketing and accounting to hopefully help us create our organization someday. Yet, being poor+having a baby+being married+working 47 hours per week=very slow progress. It's at the point where we feel like we're never going to be able to finish this degree that he's not even sure he wants.
And then we started watching the Biggest Loser. It's kind of like God got a hold of each of us on so many levels, including this personal training idea. I carefully broached the idea with my hubby only to hear him say he was considering it already.
So we looked up the information. We could have his business up and running in less than 6 months and he would receive a generous pay increase with very little investment up front. Hmm... How can you say no to that? Honestly, we were already pretty decided before we learned those charming facts.
So this spring we hope to get my husband certified to be a personal trainer. I mean, what is there to lose? One class worth of time and money with rewards now? Training that will help him in his personal goals? Having to stay fit? Having to keep learning how to stay fit? I'm not seeing any negatives here.
I know it won't be all rainbows and cotton candy, but this answers so many of our prayers. For the first time, my husband has a career in mind that completely fits him!
So where do we hope this leads? Right now, just income. Eventually we'd both like to create a ministry within the church to help each other with weight loss.
Here's the craziest thing of all! I'm seriously considering getting my certification as well. Yikes! That's right, the girl that is super geeky, non-athletic, hates running, lazy, last to be picked on the playground, terrible at any and all sports is seriously considering becoming a professional athlete. Here's the thing...I CAN DO IT! I know I can. AND I WANT TO! Thank you Biggest Loser for giving me to confidence!
We'll see where this goes, but for now I think it's pretty darn exciting.
Did I ever consider this happening? Not in a million years!
At first, the changes were small. We all of a sudden become interested in exercise. We found new and interesting ways to do it. We started trying to lose weight. We started making a lifestyle out of losing weight. We actually starting LOSING weight!
Then the big change. A few weeks ago it hit me that my husband would make a fantastic personal trainer. My dear husband has been floundering for a while. He knows that he wants to do some sort of ministry, preferably a para-church organization or church planting. Yet, we couldn't think of one particular place to start. He knew he enjoyed marketing, so he's been working towards his degree in marketing and accounting to hopefully help us create our organization someday. Yet, being poor+having a baby+being married+working 47 hours per week=very slow progress. It's at the point where we feel like we're never going to be able to finish this degree that he's not even sure he wants.
And then we started watching the Biggest Loser. It's kind of like God got a hold of each of us on so many levels, including this personal training idea. I carefully broached the idea with my hubby only to hear him say he was considering it already.
So we looked up the information. We could have his business up and running in less than 6 months and he would receive a generous pay increase with very little investment up front. Hmm... How can you say no to that? Honestly, we were already pretty decided before we learned those charming facts.
So this spring we hope to get my husband certified to be a personal trainer. I mean, what is there to lose? One class worth of time and money with rewards now? Training that will help him in his personal goals? Having to stay fit? Having to keep learning how to stay fit? I'm not seeing any negatives here.
I know it won't be all rainbows and cotton candy, but this answers so many of our prayers. For the first time, my husband has a career in mind that completely fits him!
So where do we hope this leads? Right now, just income. Eventually we'd both like to create a ministry within the church to help each other with weight loss.
Here's the craziest thing of all! I'm seriously considering getting my certification as well. Yikes! That's right, the girl that is super geeky, non-athletic, hates running, lazy, last to be picked on the playground, terrible at any and all sports is seriously considering becoming a professional athlete. Here's the thing...I CAN DO IT! I know I can. AND I WANT TO! Thank you Biggest Loser for giving me to confidence!
We'll see where this goes, but for now I think it's pretty darn exciting.
Did I ever consider this happening? Not in a million years!
Monday, November 14, 2011
Boys Suck...
Grumpy today. I have stopped losing. I'm stuck at 13 pounds. Can't seem to get any lower. I was losing so fast and now I'm stuck! And guess what? My hubby lost 2 pounds today. 2...stinking...pounds... He's at 18 and definitely still counting. Grr... Men have all the luck...
Tuesday, November 8, 2011
Success is Sweet! And motivating...
Still losing! 13 pounds and counting! For several weeks now, I have been averaging a 1-2 pound weight loss per week! Pretty amazing I think! I've decided there are several things that are definitely making me successful.
1. Success! Nothing like success to motivate further work.
2. Working out in front of the TV at night is really working for us. Through Pilates, my legs are slimming down and for the first time in my life I'm flexible! I feel like crunches and situps are the biggest thing helping me to lose the weight. Maybe because most of my weight is in my tummy? The only bad thing about this is we are having to get creative to come up with new exercises to keep us challenged and to keep the weight coming.
3. Watching calories is key. We're not being perfect, but we are looking at everything we eat. I am trying to keep my caloric intake to 1200-1500 a day. Somedays it is more and those are the days we try to work out extra hard.
4. Watching The Biggest Loser is helping keep us motivated and giving us ideas for new ways to push ourselves.
5. Weighing every morning and night. It helps keep me focused, accountable and prepared to do what I need that day to keep working towards my goals. For instance, if my weight loss seems low or adds back up one morning, I know I need to try a little harder that day to keep my trend going.
6. THE BIGGEST THING OF ALL IS... Have you noticed that I keep saying "we"? That's right, my husband. I honestly could not be a success without him. He has been my best coach and motivator. He works so hard and gently pulls me along with him. He gives me compliments and constantly encourages me. Somehow he encourages or challenges me without being cruel or making me feel fat. I don't know how he does it, but I want to be just like him! He is very obsessed and excited with being healthy lately and it's hard not to get on the bandwagon. I think he would make an amazing trainer someday. Hmm....
I am still not perfect, but I am trying. I am still not skinny, but I am losing and toning. I still eat what I need to or want, but with moderation. I still am not very self-motivated or confident, but it is growing and in the meantime I have a husband who is helping me. I still forget to be reading the Bible, but I actually want to now and have a plan. I am still failing, but I am now succeeding more than I fail! So there you go. Success! Now just praying it keeps going...
1. Success! Nothing like success to motivate further work.
2. Working out in front of the TV at night is really working for us. Through Pilates, my legs are slimming down and for the first time in my life I'm flexible! I feel like crunches and situps are the biggest thing helping me to lose the weight. Maybe because most of my weight is in my tummy? The only bad thing about this is we are having to get creative to come up with new exercises to keep us challenged and to keep the weight coming.
3. Watching calories is key. We're not being perfect, but we are looking at everything we eat. I am trying to keep my caloric intake to 1200-1500 a day. Somedays it is more and those are the days we try to work out extra hard.
4. Watching The Biggest Loser is helping keep us motivated and giving us ideas for new ways to push ourselves.
5. Weighing every morning and night. It helps keep me focused, accountable and prepared to do what I need that day to keep working towards my goals. For instance, if my weight loss seems low or adds back up one morning, I know I need to try a little harder that day to keep my trend going.
6. THE BIGGEST THING OF ALL IS... Have you noticed that I keep saying "we"? That's right, my husband. I honestly could not be a success without him. He has been my best coach and motivator. He works so hard and gently pulls me along with him. He gives me compliments and constantly encourages me. Somehow he encourages or challenges me without being cruel or making me feel fat. I don't know how he does it, but I want to be just like him! He is very obsessed and excited with being healthy lately and it's hard not to get on the bandwagon. I think he would make an amazing trainer someday. Hmm....
I am still not perfect, but I am trying. I am still not skinny, but I am losing and toning. I still eat what I need to or want, but with moderation. I still am not very self-motivated or confident, but it is growing and in the meantime I have a husband who is helping me. I still forget to be reading the Bible, but I actually want to now and have a plan. I am still failing, but I am now succeeding more than I fail! So there you go. Success! Now just praying it keeps going...
Monday, October 31, 2011
Wahoo!!!
There is no better feeling then those weeks where the pounds just pour off! That's right everyone!!!! The 10 pound mark has occurred and passed before I could even get a chance to write! I am now at 11 lbs although the way things have been going, I fully expect to hit 12 lbs by tomorrow. Working out while watching TV (right now we're still on a Biggest Loser kick) has been really working. I have been losing a pound every 2-4 days. My husband is also losing fast! It's so fun to see the changes in our faces and bodies. Strength training just adds to that as not only do you see yourself getting skinnier, but you see big muscles developing. The more you lose, the more motivated you are. Now that I'm out of the 30s and now only 28 lbs left, it makes my goal feel within reach.
Another thing I've noticed about working out at night is that it beats the late night cravings. I always feel a deep need to snack come 8:00-9:00. For some reason, working out seems to curb those cravings. Now when I get hungry, I just promise myself to wait until after I do one routine of everything (weights for arms, pilates for legs, and crunches for back and tummy) before I give in. Everytime, I'm no longer hungry after the workout (or too tired to get up and get something). It helps me give my body the time to let the hunger pass.
Another thing we are doing is just a little watching of our diet. We have been limiting our soda intake to one a day. We have been being mindful of the calories we eat. Instead of forcing ourselves to eat carrot sticks, we are choosing to take a few calories off of every meal (hold the mayo!) or eat smaller portions. If we can do both, fantastic! Really, we are still eating such things as pizza and Taco Bell, we are just continually eating less or better than we did before. For now it's working. When we start to plateau, we'll have to take everything a step farther.
One amazing benefit to all of these changes has been my desire to up the ante in my spiritual life. It just came naturally. I was given a free One Year Chronological Bible and found that it really intrigued me to read everything in chronological order. So I started reading it. I found that all of a sudden not only am I doing my daily devotions, but I strongly look forward to that time of the day when I can sit with coffee and read it! One choice that has been helping me is that I do not demand that I get it done every day. Instead, I leave it as a treat. When it stops being a treat, I'll have to get more hardcore, but right now I'm enjoying delighting in it.
So for now, we are eating a realistic diet, adding a realistic amount of exercise into our life, making realistic changes to our spiritual life, and winning more and more! Guess what? We are also losing unrealistic pounds! It's working!!!
Another thing I've noticed about working out at night is that it beats the late night cravings. I always feel a deep need to snack come 8:00-9:00. For some reason, working out seems to curb those cravings. Now when I get hungry, I just promise myself to wait until after I do one routine of everything (weights for arms, pilates for legs, and crunches for back and tummy) before I give in. Everytime, I'm no longer hungry after the workout (or too tired to get up and get something). It helps me give my body the time to let the hunger pass.
Another thing we are doing is just a little watching of our diet. We have been limiting our soda intake to one a day. We have been being mindful of the calories we eat. Instead of forcing ourselves to eat carrot sticks, we are choosing to take a few calories off of every meal (hold the mayo!) or eat smaller portions. If we can do both, fantastic! Really, we are still eating such things as pizza and Taco Bell, we are just continually eating less or better than we did before. For now it's working. When we start to plateau, we'll have to take everything a step farther.
One amazing benefit to all of these changes has been my desire to up the ante in my spiritual life. It just came naturally. I was given a free One Year Chronological Bible and found that it really intrigued me to read everything in chronological order. So I started reading it. I found that all of a sudden not only am I doing my daily devotions, but I strongly look forward to that time of the day when I can sit with coffee and read it! One choice that has been helping me is that I do not demand that I get it done every day. Instead, I leave it as a treat. When it stops being a treat, I'll have to get more hardcore, but right now I'm enjoying delighting in it.
So for now, we are eating a realistic diet, adding a realistic amount of exercise into our life, making realistic changes to our spiritual life, and winning more and more! Guess what? We are also losing unrealistic pounds! It's working!!!
Thursday, October 27, 2011
A Realistic Workout
So what is a realistic workout? This is something I have been struggling with and probably will always struggle with. I was never the athlete. I do not enjoy beating myself into submission. Goals and statistics mean nothing to me. The big question today is how to exercise when you're not good at it, don't have the time, don't have the drive, and especially when you're not always sure why.
Being a mom with lots of jobs and activities, I really don't have time for an hour in the gym every day. The good days are the days that I have 30-60 minutes off where I could choose to exercise (sacrificing other things I'd like to do during that time like cleaning, relaxing, napping, etc). So I need exercises that I can fit into all of the different types of days I have. The days where I don't have time, the days where I do have time, and the days that I have time but choose to use it for something else.
Here are some of the options I have had success with. Maybe they'll help you. (If nothing else, skip to #4, because I put the best tip at the end.)
1. Taking walks/runs. I am just not at the place yet where I can or will get up early just to go walk/run in the cold. So we keep this as a social option of exercise. My husband and I like to take walks/runs together when it is a nice day and we have time. It's wonderful to be able to chat and workout together.
2. Xbox Kinect Your Shape. My husband is a gamer, so we have some expensive exercise equipment in the house on our TV. There are several game stations that offer exercise games, but my favorite after trying several is the Xbox Kinect Your Shape. It offers all types of workouts. It looks at your body and tells you if you're doing them correctly. It also shows a very realistic (complete with fat bulges) view of your body on the screen as it works out. I've found this quite motivating. The game follows your statistics and gives you grades on your workouts so you can keep improving. It also changes up your workouts tailoring them to your skill level. The game is not perfect, but I've found that it gives me a good workout without going overboard and making me frustrated. It works you out like a workout video, except it's like having a trainer in the room that corrects your form. The bad thing about this game is you have to have time to do it without kids around. You also need a big space to workout in without anyone coming into it (for us that means using precious naptime minutes and the hassle of moving the couches around). I like to use this exercise method when I have the time to myself. It is the hardest workout that I have available.
3. Elliptical. We do have an elliptical. However, it is really old so a) it squeaks something awful and b)the settings are old school and it starts the resistance a little too high for my out of shape knees. I love the elliptical, but ours kind of sucks. I can go to the gym and do it forever, but I can only handle ours for about 10 minutes before my knees start giving out, needing to stop before my heart rate gets up. So this is a hopeful future workout as I get stronger.
4. Workout as you relax! Weird concept I know, but this one has helped me the most. My husband picked this up from some tips off The Biggest Loser. At first, I thought he was crazy, but I've since become a bit addicted to it. We like to watch quite a lot of TV and movies at night. So instead of just sitting there, we've started using the dumbells to do arm exercises as we watch, doing situps, push ups, and pilates exercises. It feels a little embarrassing at first with your partner right there and like you're going to deprive yourself of relaxation time. Yet, I feel more relaxed after as I get to enjoy my program, get rid of guilt for just sitting, and feel accomplished by the muscles I feel growing hard all over my body. I've found I have a tendency to do more reps while I'm distracted by TV. Oddly enough, I get more work done while I'm relaxing (when the pressure if off) than when I have a whole hour set aside just to work out by myself.
Please hear my shouts of encouragement over the internet and start working while you relax! It's the best feeling and makes the relaxation feel more complete. Just give it a try! It doesn't really matter what you do, how well you do it, or for how long. Just do something!
I am always looking for more good ideas for realistic workouts. Feel free to share!
Being a mom with lots of jobs and activities, I really don't have time for an hour in the gym every day. The good days are the days that I have 30-60 minutes off where I could choose to exercise (sacrificing other things I'd like to do during that time like cleaning, relaxing, napping, etc). So I need exercises that I can fit into all of the different types of days I have. The days where I don't have time, the days where I do have time, and the days that I have time but choose to use it for something else.
Here are some of the options I have had success with. Maybe they'll help you. (If nothing else, skip to #4, because I put the best tip at the end.)
1. Taking walks/runs. I am just not at the place yet where I can or will get up early just to go walk/run in the cold. So we keep this as a social option of exercise. My husband and I like to take walks/runs together when it is a nice day and we have time. It's wonderful to be able to chat and workout together.
2. Xbox Kinect Your Shape. My husband is a gamer, so we have some expensive exercise equipment in the house on our TV. There are several game stations that offer exercise games, but my favorite after trying several is the Xbox Kinect Your Shape. It offers all types of workouts. It looks at your body and tells you if you're doing them correctly. It also shows a very realistic (complete with fat bulges) view of your body on the screen as it works out. I've found this quite motivating. The game follows your statistics and gives you grades on your workouts so you can keep improving. It also changes up your workouts tailoring them to your skill level. The game is not perfect, but I've found that it gives me a good workout without going overboard and making me frustrated. It works you out like a workout video, except it's like having a trainer in the room that corrects your form. The bad thing about this game is you have to have time to do it without kids around. You also need a big space to workout in without anyone coming into it (for us that means using precious naptime minutes and the hassle of moving the couches around). I like to use this exercise method when I have the time to myself. It is the hardest workout that I have available.
3. Elliptical. We do have an elliptical. However, it is really old so a) it squeaks something awful and b)the settings are old school and it starts the resistance a little too high for my out of shape knees. I love the elliptical, but ours kind of sucks. I can go to the gym and do it forever, but I can only handle ours for about 10 minutes before my knees start giving out, needing to stop before my heart rate gets up. So this is a hopeful future workout as I get stronger.
4. Workout as you relax! Weird concept I know, but this one has helped me the most. My husband picked this up from some tips off The Biggest Loser. At first, I thought he was crazy, but I've since become a bit addicted to it. We like to watch quite a lot of TV and movies at night. So instead of just sitting there, we've started using the dumbells to do arm exercises as we watch, doing situps, push ups, and pilates exercises. It feels a little embarrassing at first with your partner right there and like you're going to deprive yourself of relaxation time. Yet, I feel more relaxed after as I get to enjoy my program, get rid of guilt for just sitting, and feel accomplished by the muscles I feel growing hard all over my body. I've found I have a tendency to do more reps while I'm distracted by TV. Oddly enough, I get more work done while I'm relaxing (when the pressure if off) than when I have a whole hour set aside just to work out by myself.
Please hear my shouts of encouragement over the internet and start working while you relax! It's the best feeling and makes the relaxation feel more complete. Just give it a try! It doesn't really matter what you do, how well you do it, or for how long. Just do something!
I am always looking for more good ideas for realistic workouts. Feel free to share!
Monday, October 24, 2011
The Tortoise or the Hare?
My husband and I have recently been competing for weight loss. I'm the tortoise. I've been slowly and steadily losing for months now.
My husband's drive is a new thing. He is definitely the hare. His goal is to keep his caloric intake to 1000 tops working off any excess. He walks at least 3 miles a day and when he can does 100 pushups and 100 situps. In other words, every moment of the day that he's not doing anything, he's exercising. Working the barbels in front of the TV, walking around the basement at work in between things, you name it...no please don't...then he'll do that, too! Driving me nuts!
His drive is partially motivating to me and partially just guilt inducing torture. I do not have times at work that I can work out like he can. I don't have the drive to torture myself like he does. I am the personality that works out only if I have to and within reason. Whereas he thrives in self-flagellation. It makes for an impossible situation where I cannot possibly workout like him, yet feel the pressure from myself and him to try.
Don't get me wrong, he will never be the husband that calls me fat or pressures me to look a certain way. But he does want me to be healthy. And I really appreciate it.
Anyways, we ended up in an unintentional race this week to the 10 pound mark. We both ended up coming down to the finish line together! Unlike the famous children's tale, the hare won this race fair and square. He beat me just barely! It was kind of fun though. Kind of poked my competitive side into action.
I guess I need to kick my butt into gear because there is no way I can let him beat me to 15! I'm still racing with .2 pounds left until that big 10 pound mark! Pretty proud of myself already!
My husband's drive is a new thing. He is definitely the hare. His goal is to keep his caloric intake to 1000 tops working off any excess. He walks at least 3 miles a day and when he can does 100 pushups and 100 situps. In other words, every moment of the day that he's not doing anything, he's exercising. Working the barbels in front of the TV, walking around the basement at work in between things, you name it...no please don't...then he'll do that, too! Driving me nuts!
His drive is partially motivating to me and partially just guilt inducing torture. I do not have times at work that I can work out like he can. I don't have the drive to torture myself like he does. I am the personality that works out only if I have to and within reason. Whereas he thrives in self-flagellation. It makes for an impossible situation where I cannot possibly workout like him, yet feel the pressure from myself and him to try.
Don't get me wrong, he will never be the husband that calls me fat or pressures me to look a certain way. But he does want me to be healthy. And I really appreciate it.
Anyways, we ended up in an unintentional race this week to the 10 pound mark. We both ended up coming down to the finish line together! Unlike the famous children's tale, the hare won this race fair and square. He beat me just barely! It was kind of fun though. Kind of poked my competitive side into action.
I guess I need to kick my butt into gear because there is no way I can let him beat me to 15! I'm still racing with .2 pounds left until that big 10 pound mark! Pretty proud of myself already!
Wednesday, October 5, 2011
Back to the Beginning of the Diet Cycle
Things are looking up since my last post. My life has not got any less busy. For instance, I have dishes and old food sitting in my kitchen that have been there for three days. Not sure when I'll actually get to them. That's what happens when you pick up extra shifts and work 14 hour days. Oh well, that's life and my reality.
However, things are still looking up. I have hopes for a better, more balanced future. Some changes are already in the works to the amount of hours I work. A little scary as it will mean a drop in income, but I know that we will be taken care of. God is the one causing the changes, not me, which helps my nerves. My husband is also stepping it way up and helping take some of my load.
I am still struggling though. My crazy life and being sick for three weeks straight now is not making dieting easy. Yet, I'm feeling more motivated than I have in a long time. There are a couple of things that are really helping:
A song that hit me today, especially the tragedies of losing parents this week.
However, things are still looking up. I have hopes for a better, more balanced future. Some changes are already in the works to the amount of hours I work. A little scary as it will mean a drop in income, but I know that we will be taken care of. God is the one causing the changes, not me, which helps my nerves. My husband is also stepping it way up and helping take some of my load.
I am still struggling though. My crazy life and being sick for three weeks straight now is not making dieting easy. Yet, I'm feeling more motivated than I have in a long time. There are a couple of things that are really helping:
- We got a new exercise program on our Xbox Kinect! It gives us a great way to have many different styles of workouts in our own living room. The bad news is that just the set up fitness test kicked my butt. I'm still hobbling around 3 days later. :)
- My body is shouting for good food! It's to the point where junk food is making me sick. There really is not a greater motivator for me than having a sick stomach.
- Watching a close friend slim down with her new exercise routine.
- Conversely, getting family pictures and seeing just how big I am in the camera's eyes. Yikes!
- I've had several situations around me lately of parents leaving their children early due to bad health. My bad eating and lack of exercise will lead to cancer, heart disease, obesity, diabetes, autoimmune diseases, and who knows what else that is not within my family. It breaks my heart to think of me putting my family in that situation, me leaving my son without a mommy. Talk about motivating...
A song that hit me today, especially the tragedies of losing parents this week.
Tuesday, September 20, 2011
Failures Bringing Success?
I lost two pounds this week. I came down terribly sick and frankly did not have anyone getting me food, so I just didn't eat. Not the best way to lose weight, but I guess at least it worked. So far, I've had a long stint of keeping off the pounds, but not losing anymore. I guess I just need to keep getting sick. Last time I directed kid's choir at church I was sick every other week. Maybe I will look at that in a positive light as my weight loss plan...
So, I obviously haven't been on in a while and I obviously haven't been winning as I haven't lost any weight. I honestly haven't even been trying. The problem with a realistic, holistic diet is that is doesn't just include your diet. Your whole life is involved. I am finding out that the way I have my life set up is making it impossible to achieve my goals. The root problem is no longer the food, but rather the way I run my life.
I am slowly wrestling through these problems and hopefully will have more answers or at least clear posts soon. For today, all I have are big questions, possibly unanswerable questions. I don't know. But it's all I have.
- Is selfishness in proportion a bad thing or a good thing?
- Can you live your life well completely selfless (obviously Christ did, but can we?)
- What is my definition of selflessness. Can it possibly include being a doormat?
- At what point do you just give up.
- I let the people around me run me over constantly. How do I learn not to do that? What part of my response now is healthy boundaries and what part is spiteful, bitterness?
- How much longer can I do this? Is doing everything really the smartest idea? If not, how do I fix it?
And perhaps the saddest one in my mind, yet the one that got me thinking about all of the rest:
- Who takes care of me?
I am wishing today that I had somebody, anybody, who has been through this in their family. A counselor, a godly wife who serves too much, a woman who tries to be superwoman, someone.
The truth is that I am out of energy. I just can't do it. I spent yesterday in bed not really because I was sick, but rather because I couldn't face reality. If I can't handle life, how in the world can I handle a diet? And that is realistically and honestly where I'm at.
So, I obviously haven't been on in a while and I obviously haven't been winning as I haven't lost any weight. I honestly haven't even been trying. The problem with a realistic, holistic diet is that is doesn't just include your diet. Your whole life is involved. I am finding out that the way I have my life set up is making it impossible to achieve my goals. The root problem is no longer the food, but rather the way I run my life.
I am slowly wrestling through these problems and hopefully will have more answers or at least clear posts soon. For today, all I have are big questions, possibly unanswerable questions. I don't know. But it's all I have.
- Is selfishness in proportion a bad thing or a good thing?
- Can you live your life well completely selfless (obviously Christ did, but can we?)
- What is my definition of selflessness. Can it possibly include being a doormat?
- At what point do you just give up.
- I let the people around me run me over constantly. How do I learn not to do that? What part of my response now is healthy boundaries and what part is spiteful, bitterness?
- How much longer can I do this? Is doing everything really the smartest idea? If not, how do I fix it?
And perhaps the saddest one in my mind, yet the one that got me thinking about all of the rest:
- Who takes care of me?
I am wishing today that I had somebody, anybody, who has been through this in their family. A counselor, a godly wife who serves too much, a woman who tries to be superwoman, someone.
The truth is that I am out of energy. I just can't do it. I spent yesterday in bed not really because I was sick, but rather because I couldn't face reality. If I can't handle life, how in the world can I handle a diet? And that is realistically and honestly where I'm at.
Wednesday, August 24, 2011
Positive Addendum to My Negativity Party
I ended the last post feeling like Wesley in the Pit of Despair. I feel like I'm failing and have no answers on how to stop. So I decided to go back and read some of my older posts to get my blood pumping a motivating beat.
I realized something. I am not a complete failure.
For someone who is a people pleaser and unrealistic goal setter, this is not a phrase I use often. Instead I adore beating myself over the head and shouting "Failure!"
Instead, I need to speak truth. Here are a list of things I have succeeded in these least dark weeks. Here's the truth:
I realized something. I am not a complete failure.
For someone who is a people pleaser and unrealistic goal setter, this is not a phrase I use often. Instead I adore beating myself over the head and shouting "Failure!"
Instead, I need to speak truth. Here are a list of things I have succeeded in these least dark weeks. Here's the truth:
- I hardly ever eat to fill a need anymore. Eating to reward myself or fill a need is not even on my radar these days. When did that happen?!
- I am much more concious of what I eat and if I could afford it I would choose to eat healthier foods. That is a change.
- I am working at being more put together. I made myself spend money on me and bought some new clothes. I got a nice new haircut that is easier to care for and very trendy (loving it!). I dyed my hair a fun red to look more attractive and polished.
- I was very, very tempted to quit these last few weeks. But I didn't. And I won't. That above everything else is a huge success!
It Hit the Fan
All hell has broken loose at my house. I think it would be easier for me to say what I'm not doing these days. Oh wait, that would be eating healthy, reading Scripture, stopping when I'm full, and losing weight.
Most people would call this a fall off the wagon, but I refuse to think in those terms. You know what people do after they fall off the wagon? Give up and die. I just can't do that.
Does that mean that tomorrow I'm going to get back on my diet? Hee hee, that's funny. Probably not the next day either. But I'm holding out that maybe the next day things will be different.
And besides, being that this is a realistic and forever diet, I never actually went off of it. Just haven't had a successful diet experience these last couple of weeks. My diet is not dependent on my success, only my weight loss is.
So the big question is, how to get started. I have just a few obstacles to hurdle first. Namely the millions of things I do and problems in my life right now.
I'm a wife, mommy, admin assistant, nanny, voice teacher to 6 people, mommy, director of a 60+ children's choir, librarian, mommy, household accountant, household chef, mommy and oh yes household maid. I recently charted out my week and not counting mommying or family time, I work 53 hours a week bare minimum. Yikes!
Those are just the things I do. Obstacles? Well, we are dirt poor at the moment so I don't have the money to eat healthy food (still living off mac and cheese); due to crappy food, busy schedule and crazy hormones I am nothing short of bone tired all of the time; I don't have family here supporting me nor time with friends to gain that support.
Wah wah wah. There's my pity party for the week.
You know what all of these things are? Excuses. Oh yes, they are slightly legitimate and do have an effect on my diet, but the bottom line is I (me, myself, and I) am still failing.
As I have been failing in finding time to prep for this season's kid's choir which starts Sunday, (failure is a common theme lately) I have instead been grabbing onto some fantastic advice my mentor and worship director gave me. Just let go and let God. Overly used and sappy, I know. Yet, so very true! Especially in the ministry!
I think that's where I am right now. I just have too much on my plate and I'm failing at everything. I can't do it. I just can't do it!
Maybe my situation is a purposeful celestial reminder to me. Who knows. But I really am at a place right now where I cannot possibly get back on that wagon (so to speak).
So I'm letting God pry off my fingers... I'm letting Him help figure this all out... I'm surviving on the hope that He does...and SOON!
Most people would call this a fall off the wagon, but I refuse to think in those terms. You know what people do after they fall off the wagon? Give up and die. I just can't do that.
Does that mean that tomorrow I'm going to get back on my diet? Hee hee, that's funny. Probably not the next day either. But I'm holding out that maybe the next day things will be different.
And besides, being that this is a realistic and forever diet, I never actually went off of it. Just haven't had a successful diet experience these last couple of weeks. My diet is not dependent on my success, only my weight loss is.
So the big question is, how to get started. I have just a few obstacles to hurdle first. Namely the millions of things I do and problems in my life right now.
I'm a wife, mommy, admin assistant, nanny, voice teacher to 6 people, mommy, director of a 60+ children's choir, librarian, mommy, household accountant, household chef, mommy and oh yes household maid. I recently charted out my week and not counting mommying or family time, I work 53 hours a week bare minimum. Yikes!
Those are just the things I do. Obstacles? Well, we are dirt poor at the moment so I don't have the money to eat healthy food (still living off mac and cheese); due to crappy food, busy schedule and crazy hormones I am nothing short of bone tired all of the time; I don't have family here supporting me nor time with friends to gain that support.
Wah wah wah. There's my pity party for the week.
You know what all of these things are? Excuses. Oh yes, they are slightly legitimate and do have an effect on my diet, but the bottom line is I (me, myself, and I) am still failing.
As I have been failing in finding time to prep for this season's kid's choir which starts Sunday, (failure is a common theme lately) I have instead been grabbing onto some fantastic advice my mentor and worship director gave me. Just let go and let God. Overly used and sappy, I know. Yet, so very true! Especially in the ministry!
I think that's where I am right now. I just have too much on my plate and I'm failing at everything. I can't do it. I just can't do it!
Maybe my situation is a purposeful celestial reminder to me. Who knows. But I really am at a place right now where I cannot possibly get back on that wagon (so to speak).
So I'm letting God pry off my fingers... I'm letting Him help figure this all out... I'm surviving on the hope that He does...and SOON!
Thursday, August 18, 2011
I Wish My Scale Were Broken.
I wish my scale wouldn't be so darn truthful!
I know it's been a while since I've been on here. We had a busy spell in our lives these last few weeks. I direct a large kid's choir at church and we are starting up our fall semester in about 10 days. That means lots of planning, panic attacks, memorizing, planning, scheduling, emailing, panic attacks, and yet more planning.
My job schedule is also shifting through a week of vacation for my babysitter (giving me a week of catch up which ended up being more busy than productive) and then a full job schedule shift starting next week. Oh and a trip to see my parents in a few weeks. Basically CRAZYNESS!!!!
So how has dieting gone? Well...pretty non-existant. I'm still trying to be concious, but losing most battles. Over the past week I have managed to gain and then lose 1.5 pounds putting me back to where I was at last post. Not exactly progress and still very discouraged over what I gained. Still in that mode where you look in the mirror and see your extra fat self, not the true reflection.
The thing is, this busyness is a reality in my life. Sure, I'll have down time, but this is pretty much going to be my life. I work four jobs, have a husband, do the majority of our housework, have a baby and plan on having more soon. My life is a constantly shifting schedule of busyness.
So rather than try to keep doing what I was doing through the changes, I think I need to start thinking about a way to mold my diet around my life. Again, this is a realistic diet. I need it to work in my busy reality. Right now, I don't have any answers. I'll just keep thinking and praying.
For now I'd give myself a
not so much because I'm succeeding, but at least I keep on trying. I'm not going to give up.
I know it's been a while since I've been on here. We had a busy spell in our lives these last few weeks. I direct a large kid's choir at church and we are starting up our fall semester in about 10 days. That means lots of planning, panic attacks, memorizing, planning, scheduling, emailing, panic attacks, and yet more planning.
My job schedule is also shifting through a week of vacation for my babysitter (giving me a week of catch up which ended up being more busy than productive) and then a full job schedule shift starting next week. Oh and a trip to see my parents in a few weeks. Basically CRAZYNESS!!!!
So how has dieting gone? Well...pretty non-existant. I'm still trying to be concious, but losing most battles. Over the past week I have managed to gain and then lose 1.5 pounds putting me back to where I was at last post. Not exactly progress and still very discouraged over what I gained. Still in that mode where you look in the mirror and see your extra fat self, not the true reflection.
The thing is, this busyness is a reality in my life. Sure, I'll have down time, but this is pretty much going to be my life. I work four jobs, have a husband, do the majority of our housework, have a baby and plan on having more soon. My life is a constantly shifting schedule of busyness.
So rather than try to keep doing what I was doing through the changes, I think I need to start thinking about a way to mold my diet around my life. Again, this is a realistic diet. I need it to work in my busy reality. Right now, I don't have any answers. I'll just keep thinking and praying.
For now I'd give myself a
3
not so much because I'm succeeding, but at least I keep on trying. I'm not going to give up.
Monday, August 8, 2011
Fail!
I hate to decide the success of the week on one day, but I think this week it's really true.
I had a pretty successful week. I was watching my scale slowly count down towards the next pound. xxx.3, xxx.2, xxx.1, xxx.0...just a 10th of a point away from 7 pounds lost!
Then I got hit below the belt (see previous post). I had a bad night. On top of it, the reason I was upset was directly related to how I thought someone felt about my body and looks. What did I do? Oh, I splurged. Not terribly, but enough. I ate what I wanted and filled that hole right up! Not with sweets (I'm not that type of over eater) just with pizza and a second dinner of cereal. Lots of both.
Guess what happened? I gained almost a pound. Sigh. All of that progress and success gone in one night!
Out of pure anger over my hugely lost battle this weekend and letting myself get too caught up in what my scale thought of me, I am giving myself a big super fat
I had a pretty successful week. I was watching my scale slowly count down towards the next pound. xxx.3, xxx.2, xxx.1, xxx.0...just a 10th of a point away from 7 pounds lost!
Then I got hit below the belt (see previous post). I had a bad night. On top of it, the reason I was upset was directly related to how I thought someone felt about my body and looks. What did I do? Oh, I splurged. Not terribly, but enough. I ate what I wanted and filled that hole right up! Not with sweets (I'm not that type of over eater) just with pizza and a second dinner of cereal. Lots of both.
Guess what happened? I gained almost a pound. Sigh. All of that progress and success gone in one night!
Out of pure anger over my hugely lost battle this weekend and letting myself get too caught up in what my scale thought of me, I am giving myself a big super fat
3
for the week. Let's hope this week is better!
Affirmation Feels Good...But It Sure Doesn't Last!
I have had some good successes lately. I am 6 pounds lighter, I felt pretty good the last time I was in a dressing room, I feel pretty for the first time in months, and I've been feeling like my friends and husband have noticed as well.
I've been on a loser's high. I feel like people view me differently. I feel more confident. I feel like some problems I have had in my marriage and life were getting fixed just by those little changes. In fact, I started believing that my small weight change and few extra clothes in my closet had solved a lot of my problems. Everything was wonderful and rosy again.
So it was a shock on many levels when the same old problems smacked me in the face last night. I knew that some issues in my life were not actually attributed to my weight gain. Yet, in that moment I realized I had started believing that terrible whisper in my head and thinking that since my body was changing, my life would follow suit.
I was putting my trust in weight loss to fix my problems.
The thing about a diet is that it really only fixes one problem...what the scale says. How many people have you seen get down to a model thin weight and still not be happy with themselves? What about the ones who were fat and dysfunctional that just become skinny and more dysfunctional?
I think this was a good reality check. Sure, feeling prettier is great! However, the scale isn't really what changed my looks. One pound is hardly visible. It was how I felt about myself.
I'd best not hinge how I feel about myself on my scale's judgement. I'd best not expect my marriage to be all new once I feel prettier. I'd best not trust in my self-discipline to sustain me through this process. I'd best not get caught up in how my body looks compared to the desired norm. I'd best not look to my loved ones for affirmation.
I think I'd better just trust God...period.
I've been on a loser's high. I feel like people view me differently. I feel more confident. I feel like some problems I have had in my marriage and life were getting fixed just by those little changes. In fact, I started believing that my small weight change and few extra clothes in my closet had solved a lot of my problems. Everything was wonderful and rosy again.
So it was a shock on many levels when the same old problems smacked me in the face last night. I knew that some issues in my life were not actually attributed to my weight gain. Yet, in that moment I realized I had started believing that terrible whisper in my head and thinking that since my body was changing, my life would follow suit.
I was putting my trust in weight loss to fix my problems.
The thing about a diet is that it really only fixes one problem...what the scale says. How many people have you seen get down to a model thin weight and still not be happy with themselves? What about the ones who were fat and dysfunctional that just become skinny and more dysfunctional?
I think this was a good reality check. Sure, feeling prettier is great! However, the scale isn't really what changed my looks. One pound is hardly visible. It was how I felt about myself.
I'd best not hinge how I feel about myself on my scale's judgement. I'd best not expect my marriage to be all new once I feel prettier. I'd best not trust in my self-discipline to sustain me through this process. I'd best not get caught up in how my body looks compared to the desired norm. I'd best not look to my loved ones for affirmation.
I think I'd better just trust God...period.
Wednesday, August 3, 2011
Keep On Keeping On!
Our scale gives the poundage to the first decimal. For instance 113.2 pounds (definitely not a real weight at our house). I have been slowly watching the .x go down and down. Definitely encouraging! I am still only losing about 1 pound per week, but at least not just keeping it off, but still losing. I'm sure I could lose more if I worked out and ate better.
However, this diet is all about being realistic. The reality is that I do not have the time to exercise or the weather that allows me to do my outdoor walking. I also don't have the money to buy healthy foods. Right now we are still living off of cheap freezer pizza, mac and cheese, and ramen...pretty much. Is it healthy? Nope. But necessary for now.
So I would have to call this week a success. Has it been perfect? No, far from it. But it has been as perfect as reality will allow. I'm still losing, still stopping when I'm full, and still refreshing myself with Scripture when I can. So I would give this week an:
However, this diet is all about being realistic. The reality is that I do not have the time to exercise or the weather that allows me to do my outdoor walking. I also don't have the money to buy healthy foods. Right now we are still living off of cheap freezer pizza, mac and cheese, and ramen...pretty much. Is it healthy? Nope. But necessary for now.
So I would have to call this week a success. Has it been perfect? No, far from it. But it has been as perfect as reality will allow. I'm still losing, still stopping when I'm full, and still refreshing myself with Scripture when I can. So I would give this week an:
8
Monday, August 1, 2011
An Encouraging Gift
I have had a wonderful, encouraging weekend! Just when I needed it most! My son is 9 months old and since I’ve been pregnant with him I have felt like I lost who I was as a woman. I felt like my body became a mommy body.
I have always been a well put together, fashionable person. I try hard to look nice and to frugally buy clothes that are up-to-date and unique.
Since getting pregnant I have sacrificed that part of me to be a mom. My body does not feel pretty. It has crazy stretch marks, bulges, and does not fit into any clothing. I will go out shopping and typically come back empty handed.
I also never (and I do mean never) have the time to shop. I do not have someone who can watch Roen while I go and I’ve learned from many tearful experiences that shopping with Roen is not an option. I have also been very poor. All of my money has gone to Roen. Even this last Christmas, I got money specifically for clothes. After several wasted shopping trips I spent the money on sheets instead out of frustration.
So I have been eking by on clothes that barely fit and are not attractive. I will be painfully honest and admit that one of my outfits is a swimming dress with a tank top under it. It looks kind of like a regular dress… Kind of. It is one of the few things that actually fit in my closet and looks halfway decent. I feel like one of the worst fashion disasters that deserves to be on TMC’s “What Not to Wear.”
This birthday I got $150 to make myself over with. I have not had that much cash all to myself in years!!! However, I was discouraged yesterday as I didn’t have time to shop and had no hope of finding anything even if I did. Than my husband sacrificially and yet excitedly asked me to go shopping with him.
Than another weird thing happened. I was dead set on shopping at consignment stores to get more for my money. I was just going to deal with second hand clothing that hopefully would just work. Than for some reason I just had this feeling that I had to shop at Maurices. It just popped into my head. So we went to Maurices, a clothing store that I love, but that is waaay expensive.
We got to the store and found out they had a good sale going on. However, I know how sale stuff goes. It’s typically only the yucky stuff that doesn’t look good on that’s left over. I went to the dressing room loaded down with regular items and a few sale items I figured I would try on just in case. None of the regular priced things worked and I got depressed.
Then I started on the sale items… Not only were they unusually good, but the 5 pounds I had lost finally made them work! In the end, I walked out of the stores with 3 new shirts, a gorgeous lace undershirt, capris, trousers, and a professional looking dress for $75! All gorgeous and well fitting!
I still have $75 to get a nice new haircut and pedicure. All together, I feel very put together and lovely for the first time in over a year! Such a blessing!
It was also very encouraging to me to keep losing weight and a blessing to feel pretty in the meantime.
I am also very encouraged that my appetite has dropped significantly. I am finally eating modest portions. I am still getting good nutrition, but now naturally stopping when I am full and not eating ridiculous, super-sized portions. Over-indulging just does not appeal to me. Even my birthday cake and ice cream, I only ate them to please my mother-in-law who made them for me. And I only ate a little. It is good to see that heart change (and stomach size change) really happening. This is going to happen!
I have always been a well put together, fashionable person. I try hard to look nice and to frugally buy clothes that are up-to-date and unique.
Since getting pregnant I have sacrificed that part of me to be a mom. My body does not feel pretty. It has crazy stretch marks, bulges, and does not fit into any clothing. I will go out shopping and typically come back empty handed.
I also never (and I do mean never) have the time to shop. I do not have someone who can watch Roen while I go and I’ve learned from many tearful experiences that shopping with Roen is not an option. I have also been very poor. All of my money has gone to Roen. Even this last Christmas, I got money specifically for clothes. After several wasted shopping trips I spent the money on sheets instead out of frustration.
So I have been eking by on clothes that barely fit and are not attractive. I will be painfully honest and admit that one of my outfits is a swimming dress with a tank top under it. It looks kind of like a regular dress… Kind of. It is one of the few things that actually fit in my closet and looks halfway decent. I feel like one of the worst fashion disasters that deserves to be on TMC’s “What Not to Wear.”
This birthday I got $150 to make myself over with. I have not had that much cash all to myself in years!!! However, I was discouraged yesterday as I didn’t have time to shop and had no hope of finding anything even if I did. Than my husband sacrificially and yet excitedly asked me to go shopping with him.
Than another weird thing happened. I was dead set on shopping at consignment stores to get more for my money. I was just going to deal with second hand clothing that hopefully would just work. Than for some reason I just had this feeling that I had to shop at Maurices. It just popped into my head. So we went to Maurices, a clothing store that I love, but that is waaay expensive.
We got to the store and found out they had a good sale going on. However, I know how sale stuff goes. It’s typically only the yucky stuff that doesn’t look good on that’s left over. I went to the dressing room loaded down with regular items and a few sale items I figured I would try on just in case. None of the regular priced things worked and I got depressed.
Then I started on the sale items… Not only were they unusually good, but the 5 pounds I had lost finally made them work! In the end, I walked out of the stores with 3 new shirts, a gorgeous lace undershirt, capris, trousers, and a professional looking dress for $75! All gorgeous and well fitting!
I still have $75 to get a nice new haircut and pedicure. All together, I feel very put together and lovely for the first time in over a year! Such a blessing!
It was also very encouraging to me to keep losing weight and a blessing to feel pretty in the meantime.
I am also very encouraged that my appetite has dropped significantly. I am finally eating modest portions. I am still getting good nutrition, but now naturally stopping when I am full and not eating ridiculous, super-sized portions. Over-indulging just does not appeal to me. Even my birthday cake and ice cream, I only ate them to please my mother-in-law who made them for me. And I only ate a little. It is good to see that heart change (and stomach size change) really happening. This is going to happen!
Thursday, July 28, 2011
One More Down!
I lost a pound!!! That just doesn't sound as exciting as it should. Nor does my weight loss ticker look encouraging. I've decided to change my diet start date. As my faithful readers know, I started messing around with this diet a few weeks before I started this blog. By the time I started writing, I had already lost 4 pounds and had hit that point where your body stops losing.
Since than, I have lost 1 pound!!! So really, I'm up to 5. Plus I would estimate 2-2.5 inches around the big places (Shame on me, I still haven't measured!). I decided to go ahead and change my weight ticker to the full total so it told the full story.
I'm still keeping on. Nothing exciting is happening. I am not winning huge battles. I still am not eating perfectly, just a little bit better than I was. I never win all of the battles, nor all of the ones I do completely.
I think that will come though. The important thing is that it has been over a month since I started playing with this idea and I am still keeping at it! I am not going to stop this quest for a healhier me. This is a lifestyle change. I just can't stop...I can't do that to my family.
I did see an encouraging article this week which of course I didn't put up and now can't find. It was about a woman who lost 100 lbs merely by making better choices and small goals. She only focused on 5 lbs at a time and did only what she honestly could. It is possible!
Since than, I have lost 1 pound!!! So really, I'm up to 5. Plus I would estimate 2-2.5 inches around the big places (Shame on me, I still haven't measured!). I decided to go ahead and change my weight ticker to the full total so it told the full story.
I'm still keeping on. Nothing exciting is happening. I am not winning huge battles. I still am not eating perfectly, just a little bit better than I was. I never win all of the battles, nor all of the ones I do completely.
I think that will come though. The important thing is that it has been over a month since I started playing with this idea and I am still keeping at it! I am not going to stop this quest for a healhier me. This is a lifestyle change. I just can't stop...I can't do that to my family.
I did see an encouraging article this week which of course I didn't put up and now can't find. It was about a woman who lost 100 lbs merely by making better choices and small goals. She only focused on 5 lbs at a time and did only what she honestly could. It is possible!
Monday, July 25, 2011
Up and Down
Besides busyness, I think dieting's next biggest enemy is lack of money. We have been extremely poor this month. It's one of those months where you choose which bills to pay and which to hold off until...someday. Sigh. As a result, we have been eating as cheaply as possible. Let's be honest, there is just nothing diet friendly about raman and frozen pizza.
My biggest success comes when I have lots of veggies as fillers. For instance, I'll have a main dish even of something as unhealthy as macaroni and cheese. But before I eat my mac, I eat a large serving of my favorite vegetable. Half-way through the mac I'm full. The food last longer, is higher quality, and I'm taking in fewer calories. However, when you can't afford veggies you end up with a side of carbs followed by a main dish of even unhealthier carbs!
As a result, I have seen my weight slowly creep back up. So discouraging! Out of necessity, I kind of gave up for a few days...ok week.
The last couple of days I finally decided to at least try to stop when I was full. I haven't been perfect, but apparently I'm making some progress. I got on the scale this morning and it looks like I've lost a pound or so! I will wait till tonight to decide if that is official. I've found that I'm exceptionally light in the mornings and bigger in the evenings. I tend to take the average of both and go by that. Or when I'm feeling defeated, I honestly take the heaviest weight.
This week in general:
My biggest success comes when I have lots of veggies as fillers. For instance, I'll have a main dish even of something as unhealthy as macaroni and cheese. But before I eat my mac, I eat a large serving of my favorite vegetable. Half-way through the mac I'm full. The food last longer, is higher quality, and I'm taking in fewer calories. However, when you can't afford veggies you end up with a side of carbs followed by a main dish of even unhealthier carbs!
As a result, I have seen my weight slowly creep back up. So discouraging! Out of necessity, I kind of gave up for a few days...ok week.
The last couple of days I finally decided to at least try to stop when I was full. I haven't been perfect, but apparently I'm making some progress. I got on the scale this morning and it looks like I've lost a pound or so! I will wait till tonight to decide if that is official. I've found that I'm exceptionally light in the mornings and bigger in the evenings. I tend to take the average of both and go by that. Or when I'm feeling defeated, I honestly take the heaviest weight.
This week in general:
4
Today after seeing my weight:
6
Monday, July 18, 2011
Big Fat Apathetic 4
Dieting is hard. It’s really only fun for the first day or so. I have hit the slump…big time! Busyness has kept me from writing this week. Self-pity for my busy weekend has cancelled out my conscience and accountability. I haven’t done my best this weekend. In fact, I’d give the last few days a big fat (pun intended and definitely descriptive)
I definitely lost more than I won. This is the time when I typically quit on my resolution. This is when you quietly disappear and hope no one remembers your brave words just a short time ago. This is when I come up with excuses.
However, this time is very different. For some reason, I have it settled in my heart that quitting is not an option. Not this month, this year, or any time in my life. I hope that sticks around. I hope I will keep on feeling determination even after a sad four of a weekend.
No, determination is not my problem. My problem is apathy. I have other things on my mind, other concerns and demands on my time that block out any desire to work at this. I don’t want to think about what the better choice would be. I don’t care about Scripture. I want to just forget my life while I eat, not think about my fullness level every bite. I know I need to keep taking this to the next level. I need to keep making better choices. Yet, right now I’m just doing the bare minimum to get by…and it’s hurting my progress. I have made no progress and in fact may have gained a pound this week.
I think it’s time to be done with the apathy. I honestly have no idea how to accomplish that. All I can do is pray to God for the strength and wisdom to not waste my time, but instead keep doing this WELL!
It’s Monday… Here’s to a better week!
4
I definitely lost more than I won. This is the time when I typically quit on my resolution. This is when you quietly disappear and hope no one remembers your brave words just a short time ago. This is when I come up with excuses.
However, this time is very different. For some reason, I have it settled in my heart that quitting is not an option. Not this month, this year, or any time in my life. I hope that sticks around. I hope I will keep on feeling determination even after a sad four of a weekend.
No, determination is not my problem. My problem is apathy. I have other things on my mind, other concerns and demands on my time that block out any desire to work at this. I don’t want to think about what the better choice would be. I don’t care about Scripture. I want to just forget my life while I eat, not think about my fullness level every bite. I know I need to keep taking this to the next level. I need to keep making better choices. Yet, right now I’m just doing the bare minimum to get by…and it’s hurting my progress. I have made no progress and in fact may have gained a pound this week.
I think it’s time to be done with the apathy. I honestly have no idea how to accomplish that. All I can do is pray to God for the strength and wisdom to not waste my time, but instead keep doing this WELL!
It’s Monday… Here’s to a better week!
Thursday, July 14, 2011
Day Four
Today has been CRAZY! One of those days where you are scheduled to the gills. As a result, no Scripture and no exercise. Maybe I need to re-think my priorities as those are the last things I accomplish...?
I did do quite a bit of spiritual exercise though. I started out my insane day very, VERY stressed. I am working to choose not to let myself get stressed or mired down by a "bad" day. It was hard and took a lot of prayer and truth speaking to myself, but I did improve my attitude and let go of my stress as the day progressed. It ended wonderfully! I was very nervous about a new voice student (my last new student has been a disaster!). Oh yes, I teach voice lessons. She was amazing! Perfect age, perfect voice, perfect personality, perfect work-ability and she likes all the singers/songs that I like. Oh yeah! Good ending!
I did eat really well! Mostly because I didn't have time, but hey. I was able to turn down seconds of my favorite dish and only ate a tiny bit of my leftover amazing cheesecake, both without much of a thought. Hooray! This is starting to become habit! However, as I didn't intentionally win any battles today and left out the most important parts I still give this day a
I did do quite a bit of spiritual exercise though. I started out my insane day very, VERY stressed. I am working to choose not to let myself get stressed or mired down by a "bad" day. It was hard and took a lot of prayer and truth speaking to myself, but I did improve my attitude and let go of my stress as the day progressed. It ended wonderfully! I was very nervous about a new voice student (my last new student has been a disaster!). Oh yes, I teach voice lessons. She was amazing! Perfect age, perfect voice, perfect personality, perfect work-ability and she likes all the singers/songs that I like. Oh yeah! Good ending!
I did eat really well! Mostly because I didn't have time, but hey. I was able to turn down seconds of my favorite dish and only ate a tiny bit of my leftover amazing cheesecake, both without much of a thought. Hooray! This is starting to become habit! However, as I didn't intentionally win any battles today and left out the most important parts I still give this day a
6
Two Days in One!
I suppose I shouldn't be surprised that right when I decide to start this big life change my world explodes! I am pretty sure I couldn't cram another meeting, activity, chore or breath into this week. I am about out of my mind with busyness. Thankfully, I'm not completely out of my mind yet (although my eye does twitch 5 beats per second). I have been doing a fairly good job at keeping my diet.
Exercise: Has not happened, but I have been cleaning and running around like a mad woman so...
Scripture: Ha. Definitely not happening. Time for myself? Not possible this week. Sigh.
Poundage: Haven't lost a single pound! However, I am keeping my pre-diet loss off so that's something. I went out to Cheesecake Factory with girlfriends to celebrate birthdays and had to dig through my closet to find something dressy. I was encouraged that several of my outfits are starting to fit again and the ones that still don't are at least getting closer. I may not have lost pounds, but my post-baby middle is shrinking! That was very encouraging.
Eating: I haven't eaten anything good this week between the Cheesecake Factory and being busy. I'm lucky to just be eating at this point. However, I have been really good with my portions! I haven't stuffed myself once and have successfully said no to bigger, second, or late night portions.
Exercise: Has not happened, but I have been cleaning and running around like a mad woman so...
Scripture: Ha. Definitely not happening. Time for myself? Not possible this week. Sigh.
Poundage: Haven't lost a single pound! However, I am keeping my pre-diet loss off so that's something. I went out to Cheesecake Factory with girlfriends to celebrate birthdays and had to dig through my closet to find something dressy. I was encouraged that several of my outfits are starting to fit again and the ones that still don't are at least getting closer. I may not have lost pounds, but my post-baby middle is shrinking! That was very encouraging.
Eating: I haven't eaten anything good this week between the Cheesecake Factory and being busy. I'm lucky to just be eating at this point. However, I have been really good with my portions! I haven't stuffed myself once and have successfully said no to bigger, second, or late night portions.
Day 2 & 3 Rating:
6
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
Here We Go!
First official day! I have to admit, I feel kind of like I cheated. I have been following my diet principals for the last three weeks. I kind of fell off the wagon while my son was sick and then decided on this blog so I decided I would start over and have an new official date. July 12, 2011 starts my journey.
Here's some things I've noticed from my soft opening in the last few weeks:
1. It's hard to remember to notice when you get full while you're eating. I often sit down to a meal and the next thing I know, I've cleaned my plate and I realize that I passed that point and then some without noticing. I have been getting better at this, but it took a good week to get the hang of.
2. My desire to snack hits me especially at night. We have a tendancy to stay up rather late every night. By the time 9-10 rolls around, dinner is a thing of the distant past! If my stomach is actually rumbling I sometimes give in and have a small snack. However, 95% of the time I am just peckish. These are the times that the temptation hits me the worst. The good news is that I won that battle last night! Hooray!
3. So far I have lost 3 pounds on the pre-diet enabling me to set my goal at an even lower weight for this blog. According to the blog I've actually lost 0 becuase I'm not counting my starting weight till today.
Daily Report:
I feel like I did pretty good yesterday. I didn't pay attention at breakfast, but only went a few bites over my full line. I ate a small lunch mostly because it was all that I brought, but I managed to be ok with it all afternoon. Dinner didn't happen until I was very hungry so I ate a little more than I should. However, I still kept it to a fairly reasonable portion. I had an intense battle after dinner to eat more. I had one Dove dark chocolate and was able to keep it to that! What a victory for me!
I have decided to rate each day's success as a more concrete, concise way to show progress. I'm going to rate my days from 0-10. A completely victorious day will be 10 and completely unsuccessful will be 0. A day where my wins and losses are even will be 5. Here we go!!!
Here's some things I've noticed from my soft opening in the last few weeks:
1. It's hard to remember to notice when you get full while you're eating. I often sit down to a meal and the next thing I know, I've cleaned my plate and I realize that I passed that point and then some without noticing. I have been getting better at this, but it took a good week to get the hang of.
2. My desire to snack hits me especially at night. We have a tendancy to stay up rather late every night. By the time 9-10 rolls around, dinner is a thing of the distant past! If my stomach is actually rumbling I sometimes give in and have a small snack. However, 95% of the time I am just peckish. These are the times that the temptation hits me the worst. The good news is that I won that battle last night! Hooray!
3. So far I have lost 3 pounds on the pre-diet enabling me to set my goal at an even lower weight for this blog. According to the blog I've actually lost 0 becuase I'm not counting my starting weight till today.
Daily Report:
I feel like I did pretty good yesterday. I didn't pay attention at breakfast, but only went a few bites over my full line. I ate a small lunch mostly because it was all that I brought, but I managed to be ok with it all afternoon. Dinner didn't happen until I was very hungry so I ate a little more than I should. However, I still kept it to a fairly reasonable portion. I had an intense battle after dinner to eat more. I had one Dove dark chocolate and was able to keep it to that! What a victory for me!
I have decided to rate each day's success as a more concrete, concise way to show progress. I'm going to rate my days from 0-10. A completely victorious day will be 10 and completely unsuccessful will be 0. A day where my wins and losses are even will be 5. Here we go!!!
Yesterday's rating:
7
Monday, July 11, 2011
Eternal Chocolate Cake
The second (see previous post) was a verse that really stuck out to me. In answer to Satan's tempting request for Jesus to curb his starvation by turning stones into bread (which He could indeed have done), Jesus said, "Man shall not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God." (Matthew 4:4)
What do you live for? I live for food. Sometimes I vary it by living for fun times or things, but my biggest joy in life is food.
The problem is that food will only sustain me for a little while. Even if I had a magic table that would feed me whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted without any weight gain, I would not be alive. I would be a slave to that table. I would never let it out of my sight. I would probably kill for that table, sell my soul to keep that table. That is a living death.
No, the only thing that sustains life in me in this sinful, dark world is God. The best way to know and experience Him is through His Word, the Bible.
This is such a good reminder for me. When I go to put that extra bite of Annie's mac and cheese in my mouth, I need to have an eternal perspective. I need to see that mac and cheese for what it is. A momentary sensation that I will just poop out.
I hope that someday, every time I put food in my mouth I will be reminded of more important food I need insert. The food of Scripture. I hope that I will always remember to eat my eternal vegetables.
The neat thing is the more that I do it, the more I will realize that they aren't eternal veggies after all...they're the most moist, chocolately, delicious eternal cake!
What do you live for? I live for food. Sometimes I vary it by living for fun times or things, but my biggest joy in life is food.
The problem is that food will only sustain me for a little while. Even if I had a magic table that would feed me whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted without any weight gain, I would not be alive. I would be a slave to that table. I would never let it out of my sight. I would probably kill for that table, sell my soul to keep that table. That is a living death.
No, the only thing that sustains life in me in this sinful, dark world is God. The best way to know and experience Him is through His Word, the Bible.
This is such a good reminder for me. When I go to put that extra bite of Annie's mac and cheese in my mouth, I need to have an eternal perspective. I need to see that mac and cheese for what it is. A momentary sensation that I will just poop out.
I hope that someday, every time I put food in my mouth I will be reminded of more important food I need insert. The food of Scripture. I hope that I will always remember to eat my eternal vegetables.
The neat thing is the more that I do it, the more I will realize that they aren't eternal veggies after all...they're the most moist, chocolately, delicious eternal cake!
Waiting...waiting...waiting...GONE!
So much of dieting is focused around forbidding, getting rid of, never again. Do those words ever work for you? For me, that is kind of like creating a big red button I cannot help but push. Those words communicate despair, flagellation, defeat. Jesus was and will never be about those things.
I did something I rarely do today. I listened to sermons online. To be honest, the only reason I did was because the sermon series this summer is very pertinent to my weight struggle. I missed a few weeks and had a quiet convenient moment at work so... I am sooo glad I did!
My wonderful, godly pastor shared this Sunday about the warnings in the Bible against instant gratification. You can listen to his sermond here if you're interested: WAIT Management by Pastor Tom Hovestahl.
Two things struck me. First, often we think of dieting in the negative. Chocolate cake gives us love handles. We don't like love handles. Therefore, we decide that we cannot have chocolate cake EVER again! You know what happens on day 11 (for me day 2)? Cake for breakfast, snack, lunch, snack, and dinner...snack. Give me someone who is successful with this diet mindset and I'll punch them in the nose!
The thing is, God gave us the ingredients and capabilities and tastebuds to enjoy that cake. The problem is not the cake, but the fact that we cannot eat it in moderation. We cannot wait for our weekly special treat. The good things God has given us are better waited for. After all, the wait is half the fun.
I notice this especially with music. There is often one special catchy song on the radio that I really must own. I cannot get enough of it! I am constantly flipping channels in an effort not to miss it. Finally, I buy that song. You know what I do? I listen to it over and over and over. The next thing I know, the magic is gone. The song is boring. It becomes that reject song on my ipod. The song I skip quickly past with a sigh on shuffle.
This is not just true for silly things like a pop song or cake. Lack of self-control can ruin the brightest gifts from God.
Maybe I need to change my perspective. Instead of depriving myself, the truth is I am waiting. I am waiting till the right, God-appointed time to enjoy my cake when I can enjoy it in good conscience, wisely.
I did something I rarely do today. I listened to sermons online. To be honest, the only reason I did was because the sermon series this summer is very pertinent to my weight struggle. I missed a few weeks and had a quiet convenient moment at work so... I am sooo glad I did!
My wonderful, godly pastor shared this Sunday about the warnings in the Bible against instant gratification. You can listen to his sermond here if you're interested: WAIT Management by Pastor Tom Hovestahl.
Two things struck me. First, often we think of dieting in the negative. Chocolate cake gives us love handles. We don't like love handles. Therefore, we decide that we cannot have chocolate cake EVER again! You know what happens on day 11 (for me day 2)? Cake for breakfast, snack, lunch, snack, and dinner...snack. Give me someone who is successful with this diet mindset and I'll punch them in the nose!
The thing is, God gave us the ingredients and capabilities and tastebuds to enjoy that cake. The problem is not the cake, but the fact that we cannot eat it in moderation. We cannot wait for our weekly special treat. The good things God has given us are better waited for. After all, the wait is half the fun.
I notice this especially with music. There is often one special catchy song on the radio that I really must own. I cannot get enough of it! I am constantly flipping channels in an effort not to miss it. Finally, I buy that song. You know what I do? I listen to it over and over and over. The next thing I know, the magic is gone. The song is boring. It becomes that reject song on my ipod. The song I skip quickly past with a sigh on shuffle.
This is not just true for silly things like a pop song or cake. Lack of self-control can ruin the brightest gifts from God.
Maybe I need to change my perspective. Instead of depriving myself, the truth is I am waiting. I am waiting till the right, God-appointed time to enjoy my cake when I can enjoy it in good conscience, wisely.
There is nothing I hate more than RUNNING!
As part of our exercise plan, my husband and I have been trying to start running. Running is a proven way to lose weight fast. It just works. Plus, it's cheap. We can't quite afford a gym membership yet, so...running it is.
We are following a workout plan I found online that made sense and fit our life. The plan is based on working into running for 30 minutes. You start by walking 30 minutes. When you can do that comfortably, you start running for 1 minute out of every 5 for 30 minutes. Than you try to run for 2 out of 5 minutes, etc. until you're running for all 30 minute.
We have changed it in that we like walking for an hour. We have been trying to walk for 60 minutes at least 4 days a week. We were doing really well, and then it got hot. Let's be honest, it's just not realistic to walk outside for an hour with a baby in 90+ degree weather. So we have let it slide recently so our progress has been slow.
However, yesterday we were finally ready to add in our minute of running! I was really excited to be making progress. We did our typical hour long route, but ran for 1 minute 6 times (only planning on running 30 minutes of that hour for now). My husband loved it! He was in heaven pushing his body to the next level and beating it into compliance.
I was miserable!!! I really hate running. I've known this for years, but this was a good reminder. There is nothing on this planet that I hate doing more than running! I hate every minute,no, every second of it!
I've heard all about the runner's high and how you need to just keep trying and eventually you'll start liking it. I did all of that. I faithfully ran for four months in college when I was already in shape and I learned one important thing.
That stuff is crap!
Running is just terrible and I'm convinced it will always be. I HATE IT!
We're going to keep trying though. Sigh. If we start consistently running for 30 minutes and I learn to like it, I will eat my words. Until then...deep seated hatred...
We are following a workout plan I found online that made sense and fit our life. The plan is based on working into running for 30 minutes. You start by walking 30 minutes. When you can do that comfortably, you start running for 1 minute out of every 5 for 30 minutes. Than you try to run for 2 out of 5 minutes, etc. until you're running for all 30 minute.
We have changed it in that we like walking for an hour. We have been trying to walk for 60 minutes at least 4 days a week. We were doing really well, and then it got hot. Let's be honest, it's just not realistic to walk outside for an hour with a baby in 90+ degree weather. So we have let it slide recently so our progress has been slow.
However, yesterday we were finally ready to add in our minute of running! I was really excited to be making progress. We did our typical hour long route, but ran for 1 minute 6 times (only planning on running 30 minutes of that hour for now). My husband loved it! He was in heaven pushing his body to the next level and beating it into compliance.
I was miserable!!! I really hate running. I've known this for years, but this was a good reminder. There is nothing on this planet that I hate doing more than running! I hate every minute,no, every second of it!
I've heard all about the runner's high and how you need to just keep trying and eventually you'll start liking it. I did all of that. I faithfully ran for four months in college when I was already in shape and I learned one important thing.
That stuff is crap!
Running is just terrible and I'm convinced it will always be. I HATE IT!
We're going to keep trying though. Sigh. If we start consistently running for 30 minutes and I learn to like it, I will eat my words. Until then...deep seated hatred...
Bumps Happen
First big bump in the road happened before I officially started. I'll admit, I've been following my dieting principals for a couple of weeks while I get my blog up and running. I have lost a few pounds, but this is more of a trial run to get into the habit while I get ready for the big event. I was supposed to start the big event this weekend. And then...
BUMP!
My son got really sick. When you are just trying to survive a sick, not-sleeping infant, you really don't have time for yourself. I think it's only natural and realistic to expect your diet plan to pretty much go out the window when things like this happen.
Although, I must admit the plan didn't just not happen... A large rebellion was staged in my house against anything resembling dieting! There were several meals where I was upset over how sick my baby was and I chose to eat to fill that ache in my heart. I gorged myself...on purpose...in complete rebellion...several times.
Sigh. Oh well, back to the drawing board.
The thing is, a successful diet is not a perfect diet. It's a diet that keeps going after you make your mistakes. It's the diet that loses, but keeps trying to win. It's the diet you don't give up on. It's when you don't give up until you're winning more than you lose.
I am still recovering from a weekend of sickness, but very shortly I will get my weight loss statistics up and officially start.
BUMP!
My son got really sick. When you are just trying to survive a sick, not-sleeping infant, you really don't have time for yourself. I think it's only natural and realistic to expect your diet plan to pretty much go out the window when things like this happen.
Although, I must admit the plan didn't just not happen... A large rebellion was staged in my house against anything resembling dieting! There were several meals where I was upset over how sick my baby was and I chose to eat to fill that ache in my heart. I gorged myself...on purpose...in complete rebellion...several times.
Sigh. Oh well, back to the drawing board.
The thing is, a successful diet is not a perfect diet. It's a diet that keeps going after you make your mistakes. It's the diet that loses, but keeps trying to win. It's the diet you don't give up on. It's when you don't give up until you're winning more than you lose.
I am still recovering from a weekend of sickness, but very shortly I will get my weight loss statistics up and officially start.
Wednesday, July 6, 2011
The Plan
Dieting is a complicated process! Choosing to diet is a small part of the battle. The hard part comes when you try to decide on the method. There are a million and one diet programs out there. If you don’t choose the right diet, the odds of success get even lower. If you’re like me, you have trouble even starting your diet because you’re too busy researching how.
After many failed attempts using popular diet programs, I have yet to find one that works. The thing is, yes they all work if you follow every detail, but not every detail is reasonable for me. Often they're too big of a life change to successfully jump into cold turkey. So I’ve decided to take a more eclectic and holistic approach. Here’s what I need in a diet:
1. The biggest reason I make the wrong choices with food is that I am trying to fill a need or desire in my heart with the joy of food or the fear of lack of food. Instead, I need to fill that with the only thing that will keep it full…God. I need to continually work at my relationship with Him. I need to daily seek His encouragement as this fight is too big for me alone. I need His help.
2. I need to be able to eat and not go hungry. I struggle with hypoglycemia so going hungry or not receiving enough calories makes me dizzy, confused, irritable and sick to my stomach. I need to be all there for my family, not a skinny mess.
3. I need to limit my portions. Let’s face it, Americans eat a TON! We eat until we cannot eat any more stretching our stomachs to take in more and more. That’s me! I will be using the principals for eating within your caloric needs in the Weigh Down Diet using your body as a guide rather than some generic points system.
4. I need to eat healthier options. Not only do I need to have a smaller body, I also need a healthier one. If I’m going to demand that my kids eat their fruits and veggies, I need to be prepared to do the same. I need to constantly be on the lookout for ways that I can make better choices.
Covered everything? I think so. The problem is, only superwoman can keep this diet. So I also need to be realistic. I refuse to set unbending rules for myself as I know there’s no way I’ll keep them. Instead, I’d like to set up goals. Every chance that I get to make a choice, I need to choose what is best according to the following goals for every day:
1. Read Scripture every day. Not just read with a blank mind, but truly study and internalize what I am reading.
2. Ask God daily for help and let Him be a part of the process.
3. Eat only when I am truly hungry, not just peckish.
4. Make sure to stop and eat when I am hungry so I do not splurge later out of desperation.
5. Eat every meal slowly, savoring and enjoying.
6. Stop eating the minute I become satisfied, not full.
7. Choose good food.
8. Be on top of my budget, menus, and grocery buying to insure that I have the food I need and the money it takes to buy it.
9. Exercise at least 4 days a week always working towards more.
I will do my best every day, every meal, every hungry thought to meet these goals. Being fat is a choice. Being unhealthy is a choice. I choose to start making the right choices.
The biggest part of this diet is that it is not just for a time period…this diet is for the rest of my life!
I will begin working towards these goals today. I do not expect to get it perfect at first or to even meet all of these goals, but this will be a lifestyle change, a process, a new beginning.
This journal will follow how I lost my weight, however if I ever do meet my weight loss goal it sure will not end there.
The Bug
It is time!!! It’s not unusual to wish to start a diet or lose pounds or start new good habits. However, every now and then someone gets the bug. That bug that motivates you and makes quitting impossible. It comes when you reach that point of finally being tired of being tired of being tired of feeling fat, ugly, unproductive, unspiritual, un-put together, un-whatever you feel like you’re failing at in life. I’ve hit that point. Here’s my story.
I am 27 years old, have been married to a wonderful man 4 years, and have an 8 month old son. I was one of those lucky few who never struggled with their weight. I could eat anything and I had a smoking hot, slim body. Until I got married… Living with a very picky man who eats mainly junk on top of an aging metabolism created some love handles. Over time those love handles grew. Then I got pregnant. I had to eat constantly to feed my constantly hungry and constantly morning sick tummy. Those love handles turned into full body love handles. Now I am at least 33 pounds overweight.
I have done nothing about it the last 8 months. I have many excuses. It is hard getting used to having a new baby! I work a lot (4 jobs to be exact) and it’s hard to find time to take care of myself. I have a picky husband and who has time to cook two meals? I don’t have the money for good food. Shouldn’t I just wait and the 9 months on, 9 months off rule will naturally happen?
I tried a few things. Yet instead of losing weight, I started gaining my baby weight back! It bothered me that I can never feel sexy or beautiful for my husband, that I can’t fit into any of my clothes, that clothes shopping is a nightmare because nothing fits over my big belly, that I can’t cover up my bulges, how I don’t have the energy for my son. Finally, at a routine doctor’s visit I found myself waiting on the doctor for 30 minutes (as is annoyingly typical). Out of panicky boredom I started reading the boring educational materials. There was a chart on the wall showing weight gain classifications. I found the column with my height, then found the column with my weight, I followed it over and…I was only a two pounds away from being labeled obese! I knew I was technically overweight, but obese?!?!
I know about obesity. I grew up in a family with a mother that struggled with obesity. The thing is, once you become obese it’s almost impossible to get that weight off. When you’re obese health problems keep popping up faster than you can medicate them. When you’re obese it's hard to swing at the park, go on rollercoasters, fly in an airplane, or play with your kids. I know how hard it was on my mother. She was never the type that just eats a whole tub of ice cream for breakfast. She has a disease and the pounds just slowly added up over the years. She just lost the battle more than she won it.
I swore long ago I would never let myself get to that point. I never honestly thought I would struggle with this. Yet, here I am 2 pounds away from joining my mother's struggle. That’s it! I’m fed up with all of it. I have the bug…
Would you like to hear what I’m going to do about it? Stayed tuned!
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